THE PANDEMIC PLAY-OFFS

Printed in the National League Play-off game v Dartford Sunday 19^th July 2020

So here we aren't, not at Arbour Park for the long drawn out pandemic play-offs in front of a couple of crows watching from the trees. 

'Football is nothing without fans' has long been a rallying cry of supporters fed up of being mucked around and taken for granted - thanks to covid-19 we now know why fans are so important to a football match. I've watched a few Premier games on the tele and they are about as riverting as watching curling or bowls. 'All fur coat and no knickers' as they say in Britwell. 

Living in Brighton, it's hard for some people to understand why I support Slough apart from you know being born there ('Yeah mate I support Arsenal, despite being born in Brighton because my dads uncle Keith once delivered milk to George Graham and I feel a special bond'). This was especially puzzling for people when I said i was off to AFC Hayes or Arseley, getting lost on the way and then watching us get beat in front of 100 people.

But it's never just about a game of football. 

We all want to belong to be part of something. Even before the pandemic there was a loneliness epidemic; social distancing has meant that the majority of us have had a taste of that medicine and it's not very palatable. I love a home game; meeting up in my Slough local the Wheatsheaf to chat football before heading off to Arbour Park. I love an away game; the planning, meeting up, pre-match, half-time and post-match beers then playing the how-will-Deano-get-home quiz. Oh and bonus - there's a game of football inbetween; the mangled emotions, singing our drunken hearts out while enjoying the vagaries of the English weather and banter with opposition fans.

Getting promoted to the National League after an absence of 22 years will be a massive achievement for a club that not so long was on its knees, when those 90 minutes of misery couldn't go quick enough so we could get back to the fun bit of the 'football experience.' Infact our last stay in the Conference was the beginning of our fall from grace; demoted despite finishing 8^th for financial irregularities, having a tea hut suspiciously beside the mens toilets and not enough amber and blue deckchairs.

Post-pandemic I worried how Slough would cope financially if we got promoted to the National League going up against full time ex league sides. But the financial times they are a changing, and about time too. A league chairman recently said that players on £3,000 a week will now be lucky to be offered £1,000. Hartlepool have already lost players who are refusing to take pay cuts – but this is just the tip of the iceberg and could well play in our favour. Our joint managers have worked wonders on peanuts, and ironically, the very things that would have hamstrung us - a council owned ground and small budget - could now be our saviour. 

We all know about the greed of the Premier League but this no holds barred interview from a Premier League footballer says it all. "It's absolutely disgusting the amount players get. It's ridiculous. We're just footballers, not brain surgeons. The fact that i'm paid more money than an actual brain surgeon is stupid. And all the while millions live in poverty, getting cans of beans from a food bank. How can that be? I couldn't live with that, which is why I give it all away now." 

Still the Premier League have bunged the National League £200,000 to help towards the play-offs, a bit like my old dad giving me and my mates twenty quid so we could sod off down the pub and leave him in peace. 

The outspoken Accrington Stanley Chairman Andy Holt has said many times that you have to be mad to take on a football league club and with the economic turmoil that is happening, just how many more lunatics will be left to come to footballs rescue? As he says 'Football is the only industry I have ever known where you're punished for being sensible.' In the case of the National League play offs, you're now punished for being successful and have to fundraise to be able to afford to take part. Meanwhile Wigan have gone into administration just a month after being taken over in what appears to be some dodgy betting scam. The Fit and Proper owners test once again coming to the rescue of dodgy owners.

It's not exactly rocket science to conclude that we need a total reboot of the game. Firstly though, I don't buy this argument that there are too many clubs. Each city, town, village even housing estate is unique. People want to belong and their local football club is perfectly placed to bring people together. 

So here's a few suggestions.

The English Football League have got to see sense over artificial pitches. They are going to become even more of a lifeline. The Arbour Park pitch is in constant use and is now home to 3 senior football clubs. 
The FA should relax ground grading rules. A team that is lucky to get fifty people watching doesn't need a two hundred seat stand or a turnstile block. Instead invest in artificial pitches and community facilities.
We've got to put a cap on clubs spending to stop the Salfords of this world buying promotion. Barnet lost £399,000 in 2018/19, Orient £2.7 million despite being promoted. Notts County £2.8 million taking total losses over the last few years to over £23 million! While Bristol Rovers have debts of £24 million despite two recent promotions. And that's before the pandemic. Since then Yeovil have asked staff and players to take a 50% wage cut while Barnet have sacked 60 staff. 
Neil Baker kicked off the debate about regionalisation and it's a question that is getting ever louder. Do we need a National League? Do we need part time players making Tuesday night trips from one end of the country to the other? When we go back to 'normal' how many of these companies are going to be as flexible about players taking time off for a midweek trip to Halifax? How many self employed players are going to be able to turn down work for a football match?
How many companies will have the spare cash for advertising and sponsorship? Already West Hams sleeve sponsor has gone into administration. Will supporting their local football club be top of their agenda? Will programmes survive if advertisers desert them? I like a piece of paper in my hand but tech advances are running at a frightening pace and I can see many more programmes only being available online. 

Thanks to our fantastic former chairman, Steve 'Sensible' Easterbrook, Slough are in a sound position, just not very flushed with no big backers. It we got promoted we would no doubt be the poorest club. We can play on this backs-against-the-wall mentality but it's not exactly fair to have our legs tied together as well. I don't want a suicide mission. I want a level playing field, because isn't that what sport should be about?

When football does restart I expect, just like after the Second World War, crowds will flood back when allowed. With peoples finances tight we need to look at admission prices. We've already been dishing out free tickets to attract new people, and I reckon kids going free with an adult should be a minimum but we have to be clever and we need to show as we had been doing before the crisis, that Slough Town is a proper community club and not just about ninety minutes on the pitch. And how do we support those that are too nervous to come along for whatever reason? Our excellent awards ceremony showed that we can do online very well, with a focus not just on the first team but all the football teams under the Rebels banner and the community work that happens. Could we livestream games for our more vulnerable supporters?

It's also the little things that make a club special - supporting fans and their families when they have needed it. Regular quiz night, players interviews, the rewind games so Saturday still had a football feel. A small football club with a very big heart. I'm excited but nervous about possible promotion but know in life that you have to enjoy the moment and seize you chances when they come. 

So, come on you Rebelllls.