PRESS GANGED IN GRAVESEND

 

Printed in the National League South game v Havant and Waterloovile on Saturday 26th February 2022  We drew 1-1 in front of 657

Rebels on Tour adventures are not just good for the soul but also for your brain, with historical tours and cultural exchanges with the locals to compliment the 90 minutes of football. The early morning rail replacement flew past as I chatted to the guy behind the Coventry City London supporters club. It also turns out his wife wants to turn his families pub into a community run one. I know just the place for them to visit in Brighton to see how you can be more than just a pub.

Next stop was Three Daws a 15 century pub on the banks of the River Thames in Gravesend where we enjoyed lessons in drinking at an angle and tales of having to wear wellies in the beer cellar when it rains. We missed the ‘Grim Gravesend’ talk but we heard about ghosts and underground tunnels used by smugglers and for people escaping the press gangs, who regularly raided to force men to join the navy.

There used to be two clubs : Gravesend FC and Northfleet United before they merged in 1946 and i'm sure there’s one or two people who still haven’t quite got over that. I understand the reasons but I’m still disapointed Gravesend and Northfleet was ditched in favour of Ebbsfleet United. The old name invoked grainy images from some 1950’s footage, all football rattles and men in flat caps smoking fags. They’ve had some famous players as well, Roy Hodgson and Jimmy Bullard pulling on the red shirt. I even managed to see them when they were Gravesend; no not in the 1950s but in 2005 when they narrowly beat us in the FA Trophy 5th Round. They were in the top non league tier then, which meant segregating us on the open terraces in the rain with stewards watching our every move.

The name change decision is because of the regeneration of the Thames Gateway with the station becoming an international travel hub for the Eurotunnel and a new garden city called Ebbsfleet. Their chairman said "The change will provide many new benefits, not least the ability to attract new commercial investment as North West Kent's growth continues to gather pace."

Their ground on the whole still holds onto its oldie-worldie charm, despite the fact its now called the Kerplunk stadium or some other such sponsorship nonsense.

To say the club have had an eventful few years is an understatement.

In 2007, My Football Club announced a £700,000 takeover in exchange for its members having an equal share in the club. It was the dawning of a new internet era on how to run football clubs. Or maybe not. Members were promised a vote on transfers, player selection and other major decisions. Just two and half years later from a peak of 32,000 just 3,500 were still members and one of their founders admitted that “we failed to give the feeing of ownership and closeness to the club they had hoped for. Perhaps the idea of being part of the takeover and making decisions was more exciting than the reality.” The following season the club were relegated from the Conference and they’ve yo-yo’d between the divisions ever since. They’ve nearly gone out of business and in 2013 members voted in favour of handing two-thirds of MyFC's shares to the the clubs supporters' trust and the final third to one of the club's major shareholders.

After exiting Ebbsfeet MyFC voted to support Slough. This was mainly sponsorship of our filming equipment and our away kit rather than what onions we used in our burgers. The idea has now faded away without really doing what it set out to achieve. If their idea on how to run a football club was ever really possible.

As if covid wasn’t bad enough for football clubs Ebbsfleet were relegated from the National League by just 0.002 points after the league was determined on a points per game basis. This was despite being out of the relegation zone and in the top 3 form sides when the competition ended.

Midweek they had disposed of high flying St.Albans 5-0 while we had lost at home to Dulwich. It didn’t bode well. Our threadbare squad and over 100 Rebels travelled to Kent and as we assembled on the terraces it was time to come on make some noise for Bakes and Unders boys. Despite twitter requests, there was no bins and and while I’ve been away my drum sticks have quite literally taking a battering. Deano spent the morning cleaning various musical instruments that were covered in ketchup and mustard like some musical soup cooking disaster.

Supporters are now trading insults on what opposition fans will never sing. I’ve got my doubts that Slough are ever going to be Champions of Europe so it was time to get more creative with our one upmanship and hit them with the towns inventions and discoveries. ‘Largest trading estate in Europe - your never sing that’ got the ball rolling. Followed by ‘We made Marsbars, choclatty Marsbars, I don’t think you understand. They only cost a quid, their better than a Twix, Slough invented the Marbar.’ And finally, if that doesn’t get the opposition fans riled we can impress them with ‘When you look up Uranus, just think of Slough Town.’

When you play some teams in our division, you get the impression that their fans are just cross they even have to share a playing field with us. Out of all of them Ebbsfleet probably have got a point – well, 0.002 of a point. When the final whistle came, we had three points in the bag. Some of their fans booed while their social media went into meltdown and a few little scamps tried to run off with our flags. They talked about dominating the game, apart the all important sticking-the-ball-in-our-net dominance which is quite an integral part of football.

We finished off the evening with a pint in The Rose, a proper boozer right next to the ground that was as full of life as I felt as I boarded the rail replacement back to Brighton.

We were a basket case for so long I still savour every Slough victory. Despite having no money, we don’t have to press gang players to come to the club and we now have an under 23 convey belt of exciting youngsters in the team that never know when to throw in the towel. We’re Committee run, playing at a council ground without a pot to piss in. And yet here we are again, making another dent in some big teams promotion challenge. And that really is something worth banging on about. I just hope we can press gang some more people to come and watch us at Arbour Park to enjoy the ride.