THEY'VE EVEN GOT A TAMBOURINE

 

To be printed in the National League South game v Weston-super-mare Tuesday 27th January 2025

I know i'm very, very late to the party but I’ve finally joined Facebook – prompted by Twitter becoming a place where you feel like you’ve been swimming in sewage – well unless of course its the sweet smelling discourse with Slough supporters. Its to easy to end up going down a raging twittering rabbit hole, angry at the world and shaking fists at imaginary foes while the richest people in the world laugh in our faces. We’ve been played by the algorithms so im just hanging on for the lower league chat while muting words and accounts that harm my delicate sensibilities.

Mind you, my new Facebook account is only about Slough Town. And who knew there were delights like Non League Bins! Revelling in rubbish depositories where as you would expect our famous wheelies feature heavily. Infact surely its time for a national bin off tournament? I’ve got more chance with that, than becoming part of the walking wounded of any proposed Slough Town supporters games.

Then I stumbled across a Rebel love fest thread on Non League Football Chat. A Hemel fan starts ‘Brilliant away following for Slough Town in a game they lost 4-1 …never stopped encouraging their team! Best support I’ve seen at Vauxhall Road in ages’… Another chips in ‘They did exactly the same at Kidderminster in the Trophy even when they were 4 -0 down’ while another Hempsteady added ‘Credit to them, they always travel well to us and in general. As a Hemel fan I wish we had away support like they do. Brilliant little club they are, always enjoyed talking to Slough fans.’

Which is always nice to hear. Our Firm used to be more infirm but we’ve grown and grown and youngsters now outnumber us oldies but we all try and have a laugh and well- I’ve had a hard week at work, I want to have some fun! We are gonna lose some games of football and I’d rather leave my moaning in the clubhouse after the game than towards our players on the pitch and our any sort of forum because i'm polite like that. Or maybe have had one to many to actually type after a game.

I love visiting new places but don’t really like holidays – unless its a Slough Town away ole ole one. Rebels on Tour is not just good for the soul but also for your brain, with historical tours and cultural exchanges with the locals to compliment the 90 minutes of football. But I’m not into groundhopping – if im going to watch some football I need some skin in the game, unless its a winner takes all cup match. I can’t just enjoy it for the beauty of the surroundings or the beauty of the football being played on the pitch. So give me a mini Slough Town holiday break any day.

Football Saturdays are also the only time you can go up to strangers and chat and not be seen as an axe murderer. All because you have a football top or Slough Town bobble hat on. Mind you I had to move train seats on my trip to Tonbridge. I used to love hitching because you got to hear snapshots of peoples lives – but these three talking about stationary and office politics and whose nicking the post it notes. Lord, give me strength. Thought I was a Wernham Hogg Office sketch. And not a funny one.

I wandered round the tidy town of Tonbridge with its train station proudly announcing the next Angels game, its crumbly castle and river, with children wearing their towns colours in the bright January sunshine. I dipped my chips in my runny egg breakfast while an old lady in a Christmas top, informed me she doesn’t like her brother who she has to live with. And that she bought so many tissues from the local shop they wrote a letter to thank her!

As I sipped my pint and scrolled my phone a thread featuring the Wallace and Gromit Trumpet song and Biggest Trading Estate in Europe tune – while poking fun at some of our musical instruments – ‘they’ve even got a tambourine’ had half a million views. With people chipping in ‘That's good quality support! Funny too….This is what the games about.’

Even my mum messaged me – ‘Great atmosphere. More like a party.’ And well, you know what a few of our newer supporters have said it is this type of atmosphere that has got them coming back for more. Right, I’m off to buy a xylophone.