REBELS ON TOUR : DOVER TO DAGENHAM

 

To be printed in the National League South game v Chesham United Tuesday 28th December 2025

Dover was one of those days when the highlight was having a few drinks with everyone. Which is fair enough if that didn't involve a 6 hour round trip to sip beer. Me and Gaz the Sandwich did some sightseeing. Well I took a picture of him of front of a distant Dover Castle then we hunted for pubs. One decided to serve beer that was undrinkable, the other had a landlord who said when Dover played Bristol Rovers, the Rovers supporters got in touch and said if he served a certain cider they would turn up en masse. He served 2,000 pints before 2pm!

The coast train is cheap, the club put me on the guest list and er, well that's about it. Dover have the best ground in the league but the worst pitch. Which you would think is an important consideration for a football club. Bit like a pub serving dodgy beer. They do decent chips and the place has the best acoustics ever; hitting parts of the stand with drumsticks was like playing a giant xylophone. Tubular Bells, Dover version. I’m sure everyone appreciated it. And then we lost to them - again. Around 40 Slough bothered to make the trip and half of them were hanging from the night before. I guess you can say we were all distracted by the big FA Cup game. But let’s not talk about that.

Dagenham used to be one of those places you visited every year. Not on holiday but for 90 minutes of football following Slough in the Isthmian League. In those days, there was no promotion, no play-offs and very little chance of getting in the football league. It was 2 points for a win, and if you were midtable at Christmas not much to play for. I remember standing on Victoria Roads grass banks behind the goal when I was young and once selling a vegetarian lasagna to a local restaurant so I could afford the coach and entry fee (it definitely wasn't the £22 I had to part with this time). Somewhere along the line they merged with Redbridge Forest who had already devoured Leytonstone, Ilford and Walthamstow Avenue - as London clubs performed in front of pitiful crowds in grounds that had seen much better times. You can go all rose tinted about the good old football days as much as you like, but lower league football is in much ruder health these days. And ironically Ilford, Walthamstow and Redbridge all now have they own clubs back in senior football, although sadly the word Avenue has been lost along with their old grounds.

At some point there was a serious parting of the ways for the Rebels and the Daggers. They joined the English Football League while we played the village people. And now here we are, Division 6 South so to speak after their fall from grace, some colourful owners, and well more of the same but staying full time and even adding Andy Carroll and his hair to their books.

Coming out at Dagenham East tube is bleak. A dual carriageway runs past, with flags fluttering half way up lampposts and the only hostelry a newish one that does pub grub and claims its the heart of Dagenham. After meeting a few Rebels including Deano Bladder Beckett we headed to Dagenham's clubhouse which had very decent prices but the feel of an old working mens where just one more meat raffle would bring the good times back. But as you approach through the back street houses, their big old pylons lighting up the sky, it feels like going to a proper old school football ground. The grass banks are now a massive seated stand where the Dagenham ultras gathered at the back, while we were segregated into a decent seated stand at the side with toilets that had a preservation order that Deano enjoyed but no bar. We sang ‘Biggest Trading Estate in Europe, Your never sing that’ at them and they replied with ‘English Football League, Your Never Sing’ which deserved a round of applause from the Rebels. Still, it was worth adding ‘You used to play Sheffield Wednesday but now your back playing Slough.’ I came away disapointed with just a point after a brilliant, battling performance, even their manager was very complimentary of our team. As an exciting end to end 0-0 as your likely to see. It made the long shlep back across London much more enjoyable.

So onto the Christmas period where for my 60th birthday the football gods have arranged Maidenhead United v Slough Town for the first time in the league since 2001. You’re all welcome to join me after in the Wheatsheaf after the game for a few birthday drinks and to plan next years adventures.* Let’s hope its a boring mid table one.

* Opps, this isn't being published till after the event.