These articles are published in the Slough Town FC programme. The Rebels play in the Southern Premier - just seven leagues below the Premier League. I’ve been supporting Slough since the beginning of time despite now living in Brighton. After nearly 14 nomadic years we finally have a brand spanking new home in Slough.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

MY SLOUGH TOWN SUPERHERO TOP

Printed in the Southern Football League Premier Division match v Histon. We drew 1-1 in front of 291 people.

I always feel a bit sorry for Premier League football fans, walking round with their football shirts advertising scumbags like Wonga. I wonder at what point they would refuse to wear a top and just what it would have to say? The Baby Axe Murdering Society?
I much prefer my amber and blue sponsored by Slough Town Supporters Trust and MyFC. This top also gives me magical powers that no Premiership garment ever could.
It enables me to go up to complete strangers - even in London - and start up a conversation. People will cross a busy concourse to say hello. It makes me invincible and also gets many people to ask similar questions like 'but what league team do you support.'
As soon as I don my Rebel Regalia it's like moths to a flame. First game of the season and I spot an elderly gentleman at Clapham Common in a Scunthorpe jumper. We chat at the platform and I sit next to him on the train. Imagine doing that on any other situation in London without someone diving for the emergency
button or getting a restraining order out on you. I quite liked Scunthorpe until he told me their owner made all his money from helping to break the Miners Strike. And while most fans are wildly opportunistic at the beginning of the season, he told me they would be relegated! Still he was off to Swindon cos he hadn't been there for 50 years and I got a potted history of the club and town.
Everyone and their dog seems to have lived or worked in Slough at some point or know where it is - apart from one of my geographically challenged ex's who asked if it was by the sea. Er no, but I could take you to the Grand Union Canal to count the submerged shopping trolleys and see the Swans nesting in the plastic bags.
The superhero top also seems to stop me getting hit, which is no mean feat with my gob. On a packed train with a friend on the way back from a trip to Wembley FC, Chelsea fans were busy punching each other's lights out while patting me on the head and muttering 'Slough Town mate.' One West Ham fan took offence
when our discussion about race led me to my conclusion that I felt the Hammers were the team most likely to start bringing Asian players through their Academy. 'I would hit you if you didn't support Slough Town' he grumbled while his mates handed me a beer. 'I've done time for Pompey' one crazy eyed guy said as he saddled up to me at Fratton station. A charming way to start a conversation, but he offered me a beer and told me he spoke fluent Lao!
On another occasion the Brighton and Hove Albion Supporters Club wanted to hand over a cheque to the charity I run. Not on a Saturday I said. Realising that I must support another team apart from the Albion, their eyebrows began to meet in the middle until I said I supported Slough Town. They then burst into smiles and said how wonderful Chris Sliski, Alan Harding and other Slough fateful were!
So I say wear your Slough Town top with pride. You never know what avenue it could take you down. You might even meet your future spouse.

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