CAMBERWICK GREEN

Printed in the National League South game v Maidstone United Saturday 8th February 2025  We finally won a game of football. 1-0 in front of 937

Remember Camberwick Green? I’ll forgive you if you don’t cos it was on TV in the early 70’s; but I reckon Dorking is a version of the old children's programme 50 years on. It’s high street snakes up the hill, with enough independent butchers and bakers to shake a scented candle stick maker at. It’s got a pleasing amount of hostelries – which would make Windy Miller raise his flagon of ale. Neither Wetherspoons or McDonalds have managed to stink up the place. It’s no real surprise that it’s a Liberal Democrat constituency with the buses stopping at 8pm to make sure everyone is tucked up in bed ready for tomorrows episode.

Last Saturdays programme featured Slough, who had given the Dorks a bloody nose one fabulous Arbour Park Tuesday night in November. The owner Marc White has made a name for himself and can pull in a crowd. And he likes the Slough lot, well what’s not too like?

A hero to some, but if you stay long enough in any town, there will be old school companions who are less than complimentary. Stick your head above the parapet and someone will want to shoot it off and its fair to say that Mr.White likes to wave his baseball covered head in the air a lot. And why not when the team you founded has come from nothing to rocket up the leagues, built a new stadium, become the main Dorking team and pull in decent crowds for a sleepy market town. Infact their ground is complete revamp of where Dorking used to play but the man in the pub said the old ground was falling down and that the original Dorking were playing miles away in front of 50 people before they decided to call it a day. It was time for him to switch to Wanderers.

It’s been a hokey-cokey in-out in-out player reshuffle at Slough for this episode, with the biggest news Leon Parillion going to Southend United to play full time football. We got some cash and I hear a sell on clause. This isn’t really surprising as he has been brilliant. As Chris Ashby put it so well. ‘Our very own Rolls-Royce has left the garage. I look forward to seeing you in the League. Thanks for the memories, we’ll always have Torquay.’

As we congregated in the local Inns I don’t think even the most optimistic of Rebels expected much; maybe chips in the away end and a decent bin to hit? In the end it was a 3-1 defeat, no chips and a really poor bin effort that stunk the place out. Young acrobatic Alfie managed to hang onto terraces while bashing drumsticks in rhythm on the metal roof. Some feat. The stewards were decent and so were most of their supporters. Well they do shop in Waitrose as we reminded the young cous-cous crew who wanted to goad us or maybe just ask us for our MarsBar recipe. Sue told someone off on twitter for being rude and their parents stepped in to tell him off. Well, maybe.

It was a welcome return of Edon Pruti my man of the match alongside our goalkeeper Charlie Horlock. Despite not having lots of cash to flash, one of the reasons we can attract players is they can see that Slough can be a stepping stone to greater things and Edon spoke about this in his post match interview. I think that was after he was grabbed by Clubshop Sue and put in an after match strangle hold like some new workplace initiation ceremony.

The short term aim is now avoiding relegation. I know our owners are trying to build a sustainable football club so we can compete and Scott Davies is already talking about signings and planning for next season. A few more wins would help with any jitters we are feeling.

As me and Postie Gaz had an aftermatch aperitif and we chatted to the friendly locals, I was informed that the trains had gone to pot as is obligatory on a Saturday night. So what are the chances of bumping into a Slough supporter living in Brighton who got his wife to drive up to Dorking and bring us back home.

Are Dorking going up? I hope not, cos its more fun to visit than other places. Their ground is a bit soulless with just two proper ends but I’ve heard of ambitions to expand to 10,000 stadium which surely is the whole population of Camberwick? But its tight at the top with five teams level on points. It’s good the National League feeder leagues are competitive but the majority of top teams are full time or have hybrid training whatever that means.

Next up is another team challenging for promotion. Maidstone United. I know it can be frustrating and no one likes losing , but our support really is something else – as acknowledged by the management team after the game. Let’s keep doing what we are doing. Maybe they will make a children's TV show about us all.