WAVING THE FLAG FOR SLOUGH TOWN

 

To be printed in the National League South game v Hornchurch Saturday 20th September 2025

If you really want to see what we are up against in this league then I present Torquay as my evidence. As we ambled into town, splendid in the September evening sunshine, it looked picture postcard perfect with buildings perched on the hills overlooking the bay. The waterfront seems to have a new lease of life as we sipped our beers alfresco. The football club has also had a fresh injection of life after all their troubles. They are firing on all cylinders and are my favourites to win the league.

As we settled into Friday night there was a new face at our table.

It transpired that James aka Jimmy the Mullet was so fed up with the Slough performance at Torquay last season that he went on tinder. Fast forward a few months and chats on the phone and he’s meeting his date in town – with me, Vinny and Gaz as the gooseberries.

Its a well known fact that you are never more than 10 feet away from someone who has a connection to Slough. As we prattled on about football, suddenly the bouncer announced she was from Britwell but left when she was 11 – and really shouldn’t we leave them on their first date and drink elsewhere. Which was sensible advise as James whispered into his dates ear ‘Me and you are a product of a rubbish Slough performance.’ How romantic.

The next day, the Rebel Rabble gathered in a local boozer; but not so many in town this time – just 69 to be precise. Devon is bloody miles away and it wasn’t so long since we’ve been to Eastbourne. We agreed that this was a free hit but we got off to the worst possible start as Torquay carved their way through our defence. The pitch is perfect rather than previous quagmire, they’ve got massive support and to be fair Torquay supporters are always friendly and happy to chat and the security much better behaved this time. They looked the best team by a country mile in that first 30 minutes, but Slough did open them up and if we could have got a third by half time then who knows what might have happened. Instead we made the long journey home empty handed – well apart from James.

Welling United away probably wasn’t the FA Cup football romance we were hoping for. But I doubt they were massively impressed either with drawing us.

Welling is still a proper high street – with ten pubs if you count the two microbreweries and British Legion – from the train station to the ground, making it a decent away day. But it really wasn’t a surprise they were relegated last season. Their ground – with promises every year that it was going to be redeveloped – is falling to pieces. Last season Clubshop Sue managed to dislodge a drainpipe while grabbing hold off it to stop falling over some rubble. There’s scaffolding and boarded off areas; it’s in need of some serious investment.

We also need some serious investment in this country, and the Elizabeth Line is the perfect example of how new infrastructure can help transform the places its serves. But there is something making people profoundly unhappy and angry about everything. Social media really ain’t helping as those algorithms fuel the flames. This week the inventor of the World Wide Web – who gave his invention away for free - said these addictive algorithms cause polarisation and should be banned for children. We don’t let kids drink or smoke so why do we give them access to so much misery and violence? Others seem to be stuck in a rose tinted view of the past. Look I had a brilliant time growing up in Slough but nearly every party I went too, every gig I put on ended up in disrupted by the local gangs. Football was a battleground until rave music came along and turned everyone peaceful!

We want our country back! From what? From who? Being married to someone whose Jewish I’m very wary when people point at others and declare their country would be better off without them. We’ve heard that rhetoric not so long ago and it didn’t end well.

But I get people feel powerless, Our public services have been flogged off and profits diverted not into making things better but into shareholders pockets (£200 billion since you ask). Our youth clubs, pubs and places where people meet have been closed, bills keep going up, social housing has been sold off but the money raised wasn’t allowed to be spent on new houses. Infact everything has been stripped out to make more profit. It’s been going on for 40 years and it feels like this is the end game.

As I’ve said many a time, football is one of those ways to bring people together. As we all stood on the terraces teasing, cajoling, singing, wishing John the Trip happy birthday (and who wouldn’t want to spend their birthday with the Rebel Rabble). Then groaning at a last minute penalty to force a replay.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t be angry, but cheering on people whose whole purpose is to create hate and division. No thanks. Surely its better for the soul – and the country – to get involved in the thousands of community groups across the country working together to make things better?

I love England. But the England I love is tolerant, playful, creative; about having a beer in a pub and taking the mick out of your mates. And of course moaning about the weather. Or your football team.

Right I’m off for a curry.