ANOTHER WELCOME SEASON IN THE NATIONAL LEAGUE SOUTH

 

Printed in the National League South game v Borehamwood Good Friday 18th April 2025  We lost 4-2 in front of 1,027 

As my train trundled towards Torquay and the season hurtled towards its conclusion, you can’t help but start to wonder about next seasons adventures – especially now we are safe.

So is the National League South the most exciting league in the country? It’s certainty tight and all the big hitters are up there as you would expect, so who would we like to wave goodbye too? A day trip to Truro is not for the faint hearted so off they pop. Would Carlisle v Truro be a Guinness Book of Records longest football league trip ever?

I’ve visited every ground in our league apart from Enfield (on holiday in Weymouth at the time), so be good to go somewhere new. But it isn’t looking promising.

Merthyr look set to win the Southern Premier and I love a trip to the Valleys to stuff my face with Welsh cakes. Except they could potentially be put in the North. That's because we could be welcoming Dagenham and fingers, knees and toes crossed - Maidenhead United along with Ebbsfleet

Poor old Ebbsfleet have spent a bloody fortune, to get nowhere fast. They’ve kindly taken over the lease of the nearby Rose Pub to save it for the local community so its a welcome return to that friendly, local backstreet boozer.

So will Maidenhead once again manage the Great Escape? Their chairman has admitted with their proposed ground move scuppered they are haemorrhaging money, and really it can’t be long before they come and join us over here.

Dagenham and Redbridge would make a change...haven’t been there for a long time when they were a regular Isthmian opponent and we spent our life's travelling around the M25. But you can keep Wealdstone and Woking.

The Isthmian is tight. I’ve never been to Horsham's new ground which would be near-my-house handy. Cray Valley Paper Mills sounds fun if you like stationary. I love Dartford's ground and the ethos behind it. Former Tory Leader of Dartford council spelt out years ago what a new football stadium can do for an area. “Everyday, councils throw bucket loads of money at schemes to deal with anti-social behaviour, childhood obesity, community cohesion, civic pride and community relations. Here in Dartford, we took the view that rather than fund a series of expensive here today- gone tomorrow initiatives, we would invest in football as a catalyst for all those things.” Its certainty seems to be the philosophy adopted by our owners.

But no thanks Billericay Dicky. Or Dover. Hashtag United could still scrape into the play-offs; a gimmick of a club that play at Aveley in front of no one and you’ve got to wonder what’s the actually point. And what about Dulwich Hamlet, who bring carnival to football matches. Despite still attracting massive crowds they could be relegated from the Isthmian Premier. I know crowds aren’t everything but blimey, too much partying and not enough concentrating on the football?

The Southern Premier? Well no one wants a trip to the permanently angry Havant and Watermoanville. And we went to Gloucester to watch Truro play their home games. Maybe that’s why Truro’s attendances are now up over 600% ! I’ve been to Totton's old ground but not been to the new one; the New Forest is nice and also has donkeys but last time I ended up in Mrs. Miggins tea shop when looking for some food. So let’s go for Dorchester, so we can stay in Weymouth on the razzle as its much more fun than that sleepy market town.

As for next season and what Slough supporters want. I will leave you with a quote from the editor of the entertaining ‘Where's the Bar?’ Fanzine. ‘Wealdstone are now in their fifth season back in the National League; for a while the idea of visiting Wrexham, Notts County, Grimsby or Stockport as equals filled al us Stones fans whatever our age with a warm glow. But these trips are starting to remind me why I follow non league in the first place: rolling out of the bar just before kick off, standing where you want, changing ends at half time, plenty of opportunity to exchange opinions with the locals. At Oldham the seventy seven Wealdstone supporters were herded into the most distant corner of a totally empty stand, not allowed near the pitch, not allowed behind the goal, policed by an army of jack booted stewards….The National League is non-league football...it would be nice if some of its constituent clubs remembered this and dropped their delusions of grandeur.’

As I handed over my £20 to be stuck in the corner with no bar and nothing to eat at Torquay I know what he meant. Deano spent the majority of the game having to move the flags by stewards who seemed to be fed up with ridiculous rules being fostered on us. I did manage to persuade them that the tambourine was part of my Morris Dancing religion. Really tho, your Division 6, act like it.

And as the results rolled in, we were safe and another season of National League South will do me just fine.