A COMING OF AGE

To be printed in the National League South game v Chelmsford City Saturday 31st January 2026

I love that pre match feeling. The buzz and anticipation. Going through the turnstiles, meeting up with people as we share stories, beers and tall tales from previous games - and the hope for 3 points come the end of the game.

Infact the socialising is an important part of going to watch football. We all want to belong. It might be as part of your local allotment society, residents group, pub darts team or going to church. I’m not really a religious person, but if it gives people a sense of peace and they don’t think their God is better than others, than that’s all good.

My youngest Albie became interested in his Jewish identity (i’d already introduced him to his Slough identity on the terraces) and decided he wanted to have his own Bar Mitzvah – the coming of age for a boy or girl into adulthood. This was no easy decision for someone who hadn’t been a regular at synagogue as it meant he had a year to learn Hebrew from scratch. No mean feat but when children are determined to learn they can do so with flying colours.

Of course, in any organisation it helps when you have someone charismatic in charge. The Rabbi Gabriel Kanter-Webber from the Brighton and Hove Progressive Synagogue certaintly has that in bucketfuls.

With the Bar Mitzvah just before Christmas, the Rabbi talked about how Hanukkah is officially the most popular Jewish festival in the UK with at least 89% of British Jews participating in at least one candle-lighting last year.  "Now, as a matter of strict halachah (Jewish religious laws) Hanukkah is a very minor festival. But it's not exactly difficult to work out the source of all the hype. It's what the artist Mae Rockland Tupa calls 'the pernicious effects of Christmas celebration on the..Jewish mentality...making Hanukkah into a Jewish Christmas' except I'm going to dispute her use of the word 'pernicious.' Frankly, the statistics speak for themselves. If Christmas is the thing that inspires 89% of Jews to celebrate Hanukkah, I'm very much in favour of Christmas. Maybe Christinaity pipularised the idea of family gatherings in these dark days of winter. Maybe Christianity popularised the idea of twinkly lights when the evenings come in so early. Maybe Christianity makes children excited to get presents. But the 89% of our community who marked Hanukkah 2024, marked it Jewishly."

"When it comes to the December dilemma of our multicultural society, the proof of the pudding is in the Christmas pudding. The more that British Jews have been exposed to Christmas, the more we've done Hanukkah!

“Albie, you’re also part of the proof of the pudding. You grew up in this city, this city where you had both Jewish and secular influences on your life. No one forced you to come to cheder (Jewish school). You weren’t dragged here every Saturday morning since the age of 7. You took your own decision, just over a year ago, that you wanted to cement your Jewish identity and become bar mitzvah. Since then, you’ve worked extraordinarily hard on your Hebrew as well as on your general Jewish knowledge. You’ve dragged your mum here every Saturday morning, and it’s been lovely to welcome the two of you, along, often, with your grandparents from up the road, into our congregation.

“Importantly, just like Joseph in the Torah portion you read so fantastically for us this morning, you followed a dream. You set your sights on a goal and you followed through. You confirmed and affirmed your decision to become a Jewish adult. And what a perfect time of year at which to do so.”

Everyone left with a warm glow at the end of the service – and full bellies from the buffet – and surely that’s what it’s all about? What I liked about his speech was how he captured the mixed up world of tradition and ideals we all come across during our lifes. Nothing is black and white.

We all have our own interests and we often gravitate towards those who are similar. But we also need places where our different views, our different upbringings, our different experiences can come together. I mean just look at our football club that becomes more of a melting pot each week. It might not always leave us with a warm glow after a defeat but we will come back again and again and hopefully feel part of something special. And in a world where power mad, crazy old men want to burn the place down, that’s more important than ever.

* The Rabbis full sermon is here