PIRATES, INDUSTRIAL ESTATES* , HANGING ROPE AND CRICKET

(* only one of these is a Slough thing)

Printed in the National League South game v Worthing Tuesday 15th August 2023  We lost 4-1 in front of 727

And so it begins. Up and down the country, the worlds oldest cup competition kicks into gear at tidy grounds, in front of small crowds; so far removed from the glitz of the Premier League they might as well be in a different universe.

The Pirates of Bexhill United Football Club have to share with the cricket, so early in the season rely on the goodwill of their neighbours to play home games. Hailsham Town had kindly cancelled their previous days friendly to give their pitch a chance to rest from the rain and it was looking in good nick for the visit of North Greenford United in the FA Cup extra preliminary round.

It was deja vu with the same fixture last season with the vice chairman in the quirky programme pleading to the FA to ‘shake those balls up!’ Mind you with the Premier League getting hold of the Cup TV rights, unshaken balls might be the least of the competitions problems.

This was North Greenford of the Combined Counties Premier Division North first competitive game of the season while Bexhill would have had two under their belt if they hadn’t already had a game called off because of the weather!

I’ve never been to Bexhill's ground but it’s on my radar, with everyone waxing lyrical at their mock Tudor grandstand. There must be a rush to sit in it on matchdays as they have teamed up with Online Ticket Seller, ‘to take advantage of getting your seats early and avoid the rush at the turnstiles.’

I have been to North Greenford's Berkeley Fields, nestled on the edge of a wooded hill behind 1930’s suburbia. They were briefly Sloughs opponents in the Southern League and after wandering through the capitals urban sprawl that would give our Trading Estate a run for its money in the beauty stakes, we found the Black Horse Pub. I really wasn’t expecting to be sitting by a big bay window in an old coaching inn overlooking the Grand Union Canal before a Slough game in Middlesex. It was an amazing location for a pub. But it is of course, now boarded up.

I’ve also been to Hailsham Towns Beaconsfield ground before to watch them play Shoreham. They finished bottom of the league last season and are now in the Southern Combination Division Two – not high enough up the pyramid to enter the FA Cup.

Hailsham is a small market town, famously known for its rope that was used to hang people around the world. I came the Polegate end last time and ended up wandering through industrial estates to reach the ground. Now there’s a new bus route from Brighton to Hailsham, through quaint villages and roads like Harebeating Lane. This was more like it, with a massive church and cricket ground greeting me but as a sign of the times food banks rather than banks. I managed to sniff out a back street boozer the Railway Tavern, all meat raffle, open fire and clutter. The railway stations long since gone, replaced with The Cuckoo Trail part of the National Cycle Network.

You have to walk past Hailsham’s cricket ground to get to the Beaconsfield, which despite some terrible tagging at the entrance is neat and tidy and was filling up nicely. Although the eventual crowd of 105 is very low for Bexhill who averaged 178 last season.

The new Bexhill manager told supporters to expect a new style of football, playing from the back and on the floor but it was the long balls through the middle that was cutting their opponents defence apart – and then there was a spectacular lob from the half way line to catch the Greenford keeper out and into the net. The game was played on the whole in a good spirit and the Pirates deserved their 3-1 victory avenging last seasons cup defeat.

Bexhill have never been past the 2^nd qualifying round (and the last time they did that was nearly 50 years ago) and up next for the Pirates is a very tricky away game to Ramsgate; a club who are running a masterclass on how engaging their community massively increases attendances. Maybe they will commender a ship and set sale to Thanet in the hope of bagging more Cup treasure.

Meanwhile the Premier League will no doubt be plotting a raid on the cup, getting rid of replays and playing games midweek. They really are a bunch of old romantics. Or cut throat pirates. Take your pick.