A CHAMPION DAY ON THE HILL

Published in the National League South game v Cheshunt Saturday 27th August 2022  We won 3-1 in front of 607

‘Champion Hill Street Blues’ used to be the old Dulwich Hamlet fanzine. A title that perfectly summed up the club at the time.

I remember arriving at their old place where Sainsbury's now is; a fabulous old ground was now an old relic, like a house inhabited by an elderly relative who couldn’t cope anymore. Where thousands had once come to cheer on their team, now it was all crumbling terraces with spectators sparsely dotted about.

Their new ground was never much to shout about but then with crowds of 100 there wasn’t many to shout for them. But that was then. 

Hill Street Blues? Not anymore, with attendances that some Football League clubs would be envious of and street food, beer and portaloos on every corner, it’s feels more like Glastonbury festival. So it seemed apt that Slough fans arrived with a musical ensemble, with Nick the Trumpet managing to play one handed while holding a pint, rattles from the 1950’s and that big flag that really will have someone's eye out one day. Oh and of course we had bagged ourselves a very big wheelie bin.

I took my little ‘un to his first floodlit game on the Tuesday before. 10 is such a great age for dads, they want to hang out with you still and enjoy everything. So I had to persuade him that yes wearing a Slough Town top in Brighton will certainly be different and make you stand out, but let’s get a Brighton one as well just in case.

Football as they say, is a funny old game, and for most of the Chelmsford match we threw the kitchen sink at them but it just wouldn’t go in. At Dulwich it was the reverse and we really should have been dead and buried by half time.

Doing our own market research, we questioned some of the youngsters why they support the team in purple and blue. The main answer: because there were so many fit people at Dulwich games!

Slough is more hip replacement than hipster but really the terrace catwalk belonged to Alan Brown whose Gregg's socks were proudly tucked into his snazzy amber submarine coloured trainers. Let’s just say the crowds parted as he made his way behind the Slough goal. We like to think in admiration.

When the second half came, Slough being Slough managed to find two goals and win the game.

I missed Ben Harris waving the flag on the pitch, and the musical encores that threatened to drown out our managers post match interview. We had to leg it across London to catch the last train home as the national train strike had seriously disrupted services. Which is what strikes are all about. But even without strikes, our railway system is a creaking, expensive mess. Along with it seems all our once publicly owned services. Our water companies had pumped sewage along most beaches on the south coast over the weekend, while billions of gallons is wasted through leaks. But if you stick on a hose, you will get fined. Inflation is rampant, food prices are through the roof and as for electricity bills. Even the Telegraph talks of “the coming collapse of basketcase Britain”.

Ruled by toddlers who dream of a rose tinted past and wrap themselves in Union Jack flags to look all patriotic while ironically selling off our assets to foreign governments and corporations. 

Meanwhile our future prime minister complains of solar panels in fields that should be growing vegetables, even thou no one wants to pick them, while we are staring a climate emergency down the barrel. (and you numpty, you can grow veg or have farm animals and solar panels in the same field at the same time).

What we’ve done in England for the past decades is stopped investing in the future while people at the top have creamed off the profits. To use the water companies as one example. Between 1991 and 2019, shareholders were paid £57 billion in dividends nearly half what the water companies spent on maintaining and improving their infrastructure.

Now its coming home to bite us in the bum. And wallets.

And there’s the rub. Dulwich started imagining a different future for the club a while back. The late great Mishi, who now has a named scarf hung proudly behind the Dulwich bar, would tell anyone who would listen that the hipster label was easy to throw around when the club had spent years working on ways of building up the crowds. And now it had come to pass and we can all learn lessons from them. Well, except of course when it comes to fashion.

Away days like this is what football should be about. You hum it, we’ll hit it, as we handed out instruments to home fans and got them to join in. Clubshop Sue perfectly summed up another Champion Day at Champion Hill “just how football should be......fun.”

HAPPY BELATED NEW SEASON

 

Printed in the National League South game v Chelmsford City Tuesday 16th August 2022. We lost 2-0 in front of 478

In a world of pandemics, climate break-down and a cost of living crisis, its nice to be back, worrying and moaning about football instead.

As I headed to Havant for the first game of the season, the sun and beer must have gone to my head. Surely Slough could have a tilt at the play offs, get to the third round of the FA Cup for the first time ever and the FA Trophy final? They would distract me from the world is burning blues and give something to celebrate for our loyal managers who this season have been with the club 10 years.

This is my 44th season supporting the Rebels (with a big gap in the 1990s). It might also be the first season where I’ve disappointingly already visited every ground in our league.

Still, the day was looking promising as I even found something edible to eat at Chichester train station (Take a bow Saigon Munchbox. 3 big veggie spring rolls with sauce since you ask). Franchised corporate sterile Reading station take note. Which I’m sure you will from a Slough Town blogger.

I read a book about the history of plagues during lock down which talked about how pandemics bring big changes in society and that when they end people want to enjoy life again – that certainty was the case in Brighton, as I battled through the crowds pouring off the trains to celebrate Pride.

At Havant train station, the crowds were all wearing Portsmouth tops, and heading to Fratton Park; so how can Havant and Waterlooville compete with Pompey just nine miles down the road?

There’s been a massive resurgence in non league crowds across the country. Only Slough, Chelmsford and Havant in our league bucked the trend and saw average attendances fall. 

Many people came along as the only covid alternative, liked what they saw and stayed.

As someone with a very expensive Brighton season ticket I can see why. I’ve had enough of being searched, cardless turnstiles where you can’t just hand over your ticket to a friend if you can’t make it but have to pay to do so. Bottle lids removed from kids soft drinks, people leaving 10 minutes before the end to beat the rush but miss the goals. At our level you can stand up, mingle with away fans, swap ends, even drink a beer on the terraces.

So it was disappointing but unfortunately de rigour at Havant, for the chief steward bigwig to take away our big flag and try and confiscate my drum sticks – even the home stewards were sick of him. We played the usual bin banging hide and seek - but if someone can explain why hitting a rubbish bin and making some noise is such a big deal, I’m all ears.

Twitter can be a toxic faceless world where people pile on insults for the slightest criticism of their club. There needs to be an app where if you breathe alcohol on your screen it refuses to post till the next day. So thanks to Tim Cronin a Havant supporter who grabbed hold of Clubshop Sues olive branch and made peace.

So how can Havant compete with Portsmouth? Tim told me "It is difficult being in the shadow of such a club. We have a strong fan base but the catchment area suggests it could be better. Many around the Havant area are Pompey fans, Gosport have the same problem, you can look at Bestleigh with Southampton. We do have deals with Pompey season ticket holders which suggests we can swing maybe 200 if they are away. We ended up with 6,000 of 'em when we went to Anfield which grates the real Havant fans, they took 'our' day away from us but that's what happens. They booed Never Walk Alone and were singing 'Love Havant we do' when it's 'We love you Havant loville!'  

Slough need to find a way to grow their crowds and make them more reflect the town they represent and get more youngsters going to away games (although it must be said, our away support is always pretty solid). Of course that's easier said than done. Ade and other Slough committee members recently spent a frustrating day along Slough High Street trying to get sponsorship.

One way the club can raise money is through the bar,  but Ade asked "Would be useful if you can do an article where you ask Slough fans why they don't stay behind after games. What can the club do to get people in before and after a game. So many just go home, we've tried happy hours and money off."

So let the club know what would make you hang around longer at Arbour Park.

With people deciding whether it should be heating or eating and half the population saying they can’t afford a pint in a pub, how many of those are going to come to a football match?

Do we need to look at how much we charge? How can we cut costs? The Isthmian League has said that if both teams agree, they can change 3pm kick offs to save on energy costs. There’s further organisation of the pyramid to cut travel in the West Country. But there’s still far to much travelling for smaller clubs.

What we have all got is the perfect opportunity coming up to attract new fans with the winter World Cup. And the new mini saver ticket offer is a positive step in the right direction. 

As I pondered all this, I knew whatever happens, all the Rebels will keep banging the bin and waving the flags for Slough Town. And then normal football season antics were restored, as I fell asleep and forgot to change at Chichester and ended up at Waterloo. Which I suppose is better than ending up back at Waterlooville.

Another season of adventures awaits.

REBEL PROBE : SLOUGH TOWN

Printed in the National League South game v Tonbridge Angels Saturday 13th August 2022. We drew 1-1 in the first home game of the season in front of 467 in the boiling heat. 

Seeing as we are asking visiting away fans their darkest secrets (well, how they think their team will do this season and best places for a knees up) it seems only right that some Rebel fans were also probed.

So I asked Clubshop Sue, Rebel Radio debutant Max and Richard from the Supporters Trust some questions

Richard has always been a supporter : “I was there at Wembley in ‘73 as a kid and was regularly at the Greyhound stadium and Wexham Park for years. When in 1998 we were demoted from the Conference for being 49 seats short (probably more to it than this) I was devastated and focused on family and Tottenham. Eventually I made the return and no matter what people say about the Premier League, lower league is a far better experience.”

Max come along with his dad to support Slough despite being from Hayes. “I heard that Arbour Park was a brand new stadium so went to watch – the main stand wasn’t even open as it was still a building site. Then went to the odd Tuesday night games then Sutton away in the FA Cup and haven’t looked back since.”

Sue, well she went along with her husband around 20 years ago to see what all the fuss was about. And to make sure he was behaving (he wasn’t, but that’s a story for another time). Sue has run the clubshop for the past 15 years.

How was last season

Richard “We made a dreadful start with not a lot of luck and were rock bottom and losing the sixth until we turned that into victory and went on a decent run. As the season progressed, we threatened to take a play-off position, The FA Cup did not go well and the Trophy run was great until we lost to York City in an even, but poor game, albeit a decent day out. Team was very much a mix of experience supported with several academy players, so overall I would say we overachieved.”

Max “Disapointing at times but with some brilliant moments!”

Sue “After the uncertainty of the previous two seasons thought last season was ok enjoyed quite a few games but there were some I'd rather forget!.”

What are your expectations for this season?

Richard “This season looks positive with a great core of experienced players, some new faces and the return of some old ones. Optimism comes to mind. I so hope we can look back at the end of the season and think wow, that was great.”

Max : “Top 10 – ideally play-offs”

Sue : “Just to stay up.”

Players to watch out for

Richard: “Aaron Kuhl was stand out last season if choosing an individual player. Rather than picking names for this season there is a great opportunity for several players to make their mark.”

Max: “Kuhl, Goddard, Hunt (most of our midfield).”

Sue: “All my favourites of course.”

Thoughts on the managers

Richard “Why have one manager when you can have two. It works for them and it works for us. Us supporters have the utmost respect for them, their decision making and fantastic commitment to the club. They know many of us by name, you won't get that at too many clubs and that's a nice feeling.”

Sue: “Both managers are very honest and say it like it is. Have

always come through with players when needed and give 100% to the club.”

Max: “Absolute legends.”

If there was one thing you could change to improve the club (not including a multi millionaire sugar-daddy or more players) what would it be

Richard: “Thankfully, we have a great stadium compared to many teams we visit which is a bonus. Of course, investment makes a massive difference to any club.”

Max “To own Arbour Park. More incentives to Premier and Football League fans to come down.”

Sue : Quite a few things I'd change; food being available around the ground, proper bar downstairs, better facilities for the disabled etc etc but its out of our hands due to being council run. Think the two guys on the turnstiles are pretty good though.” (eh, isn’t one your husband!). Also allow drums, big flags and bin playing at every ground – it all helps to make a great atmosphere.”

Can you recommend

Best pubs (Wetherspoons don’t count) and places to eat in Slough

Richard: “Bar wise, I recommend spending money at the club as every little helps.”

Max : “Wheatsheaf in Slough and Red Lion, Iver.”

Sue : “Herschel Pub and Red Lion Pub in Wexham for food. Exotic Karahi on Farnham Road for curries.”

Must see attractions

Sue: “Cliveden House, Windsor and that dog at Slough train station!”

Max : “Biggest trading estate in Europe!”

And finally

Richard “Our supporters are fabulous, everyone is very approachable and welcoming to new fans with open arms. There is a real sense of belonging to the Slough Town Rebel Army

“I am on the Supporters Trust board where we focus on supporting the club and local community as best we can each season. I look after the Trust twitter site and use this to interact with the supporters with some banter. You won't find us criticising the officials or crossing the line.

“I have a thing for Slough flags so the 8 x 4ft flag, was joined by a new 10 x 10ft flag with telescopic pole last season. Largest Trading Estate in Europe is joined by largest flag in the Conference South! Just ask if you want to have a wave or have a photo taken.” (with the flag I think he means!)

Cheers everyone, and let’s hope we have a great season (and reach the 3rd round of the FA Cup).