These articles are published in the Slough Town FC programme. The Rebels play in the National League South in a swanky new ground. I’ve been supporting Slough since the beginning of time despite now living in Brighton.

Friday, October 28, 2022

DOVER AND OUT

 


Published in the National League South game v Dartford on Tuesday 25th October 2022. We lost 2-1 in front of 439.

It wasn’t the warmest of welcomes for me and the Brown Boys as we stepped into the pub opposite the station. ‘Slough is full of idiots’ muttered the old skinhead at the bar. Welcome to Dover whose football club had already blotted their copy book by not letting Rebels Radio broadcast and saying there would be no food on offer for our players after the game. Would they even be allowed to play on the same pitch? I really hope it wasn’t going to be one of those away days.

Because I just love a Slough Town away day. Waiting at Brighton station to see if my trains cancelled, chatting to fellow football fans who on any normal day of the week would think you were mad for striking up a conversation.

I was already grumbling that I had to come into London to get a train – why can’t there be a coast service. Er, except there is, I just got muddled up. Which is another reason I support the train strikes. I know it’s dressed up as all about railway drivers wages but it also includes mass redudancies for maintenance staff and closing hundreds of ticket offices including Brighton’s, which is always packed with tourists trying to make sense of different ticket prices and idiots like me who can’t believe its fifty plus quid to Bath.

The Priory Hotel was it turned out, very welcoming, has rooms as cheap as £25 and live music all weekend. It could do with a scrub and there’s a massive sunny beer garden that looks like a railway station waiting room that has been shut for years. Let’s just say the garden has potential.


There were a few Dover fans in there and a Worthing scout who’d come to check us out. We did warn him we had no strikers for him to scout.

Dovers Crabble ground is a couple of miles out of town so we jumped in a cab to find our pub of choice still shut, so piled into a workingmens club instead.

The Crabble – which means crab hole - really is a lovely ground, on the picturesque outskirts of Dover that feels more like a village. They’ve done a lot since I was last there; new stands, much bigger clubhouse, but it hasn’t lost its charm and is everything you would want with deep terraces and covering on all four sides. Pre match and the clubhouse was as usual full of Slough supporters all stinking of chip fat. That wasn’t some Rebel perfume Sue had been flogging to everyone but thanks to old oil that the chips were being fried in.

What was surprising after all the computer-says-no edicts, was just how friendly everyone was.

Like Weymouth, Dover didn’t have the best of times last season in the National League. They refused to play behind closed doors during the pandemic as it would bankrupt them. So the National League sympathetically docked them 12 points and slapped on a £40,000 fine just to make sure their books wouldn’t balance. They released nearly all their players, went part time and were more or less condemned to relegation before a ball had been kicked.

There wasn’t a wheelie bin on site to bang but with young Dover fans next to us there was a great atmosphere trading songs and insults and joining in when we questioned what Deano was doing with the big flag and our ‘we want a beer on the terrace’ plea. Mind you, they did miss an opportunity to counter our ‘biggest Trading Estate in Europe’ song with ‘Biggest tailbacks in Europe.’ But let’s not mention the B word in these parts.

Slough seemed to be on top, it looked like Dan Roberts was pulled back for a pen, two crosses fizzed in front of the goal waiting to be bundled in, then a loose pass in midfield led to a Dover goal. The second half we never really seemed to be in the races with Slough fans stuck behind the far end like Billy-no-bins. Dover scored twice to send us home pointless.

Football is all about ‘What Ifs.’ What if Ben Harris had been on the pitch, would he have bundled in those chances? What if we had got a penalty? Or had more money in the bank? Or I knew how to read a train timetable. 

At the end of the game, joint-manager Jon Underwood tweeted about this: "Fine margins is a phrase used by managers up and down the country for a reason. Every win we've had this season has been a result of Fine Margins and yesterday despite the scoreline it was the same in defeat. Our fans brilliant as always. Thank you."

We all scuttled off, a quick half back in the Dover Priory, then the coast train back to Brighton, already planning my next Rebel adventure. Because this is what amber and blue football dreams are made of. 






Friday, October 21, 2022

MANAGING MILESTONES

Published in the National League South game v Weymouth on Saturday 22nd October 2022.  We lost 3-2 in front of 674.

With 600 games in 12 years managing together – ten of them at Slough - it felt the right time for Slough supporters to ask Jon and Neil some questions about best players, going solo, and who’d be in their Rebel band at Wembley.


What are your respective professions outside football?

Neil : I am a financial advisor by trade, but to be honest mainly deal with mortgages and protection these days.

Jon : I have worked for a Global Manufacturing company 3M for 25 years now, in various roles in that time but currently as a Key Account manager working with customers across Europe.



How hard has it been over the years to balance your work careers and football commitments?

N : Mine has been pretty straight forward, it is quite a flexible role, so never been governed by 9-5, so always work my diary around the football, and as long as I have my phone I am able to work.

J : 3M have always been supportive of my football and for the most part I have been able to manage my own diary so it's rarely been an issue. I have probably missed 3 or 4 games due to work in my 10 seasons at Slough which have been down to trips abroad which I just haven't been able to miss.



Do you always agree or have you had disagreements on a starting 11


N : Yes we have disagreements, we are not the same person, however the reason the partnership works so well, is one of us is always prepared to step back on a decision, and every decision we talk through the pros and cons and sometimes it can last a couple of days to get to the right one. Neither of us has an ego so that helps. However I would say 95% of the decisions we make we both agree on, and the disagreements would usually be on a minor part of picking the team, we have never disagreed about releasing a player/signing etc.

J : On the vast majority of occasions we tend to agree when it comes to team selection but of course that isn't always the case. We reach our decision on these occasions by talking it through (a lot!) sometimes over a number of days until the one with the stronger opinion gets his way! There is no ego or competition between us and we always respect each other's opinion and have never fallen out over a decision. The harder decisions are actually substitutions during the game when you don't have the time to discuss over and over again as time is against you, so a similar process has to happen but very quickly.



Have either of you ever considered going solo?

N : We have both been solo before we went into Godalming, for me I would never want to do it solo, it works so well together, we both have our strengths and weaknesses and combined I think makes a stronger unit.

J : No we are a double-act and will stay that way for a long time I think.



What has changed the most in football in the years since you started managing?

N : Social media.... its not a great place to be honest at the best of times, especially in the aftermath of a defeat etc as a manager or player, you can see some pretty awful things on there, which if you were in a room together that person would never say to your face, it gives everyone a platform to air their views, and sometimes this can be damaging, and can affect players and managements mindset, it is very easy to say not to read it, however even talking to some top managers and top players it is almost impossible to not read it, and it is often that one negative comment that sticks out the most and can affect your working week.

J : I think social media and the role it plays is the biggest change for me but I know Bakes has covered this in his answer so I will also mention analysis and the availability of match footage. When we started together at Godalming you might have seen the odd video of a goal taken with a phone but now at this level we get to watch full match footage of every game in our league which is mostly really good quality. This enables you to study opposition tactics, individual players and also review your own team's performance. Some clubs have analysts in place to do this but this is something we like to do ourselves and we also encourage our players to watch back our games and learn from them.



Who’s the most professional player you’ve worked with during that time?

N : For me it has to be Scott Davies, though Lee Togwell and Josh Jackman are not far behind, however Scottie for the fact he takes his football so seriously now, he absolutely loves the game, does everything right to be in the best shape he can be, rarely is injured, turns up usually an hour before every meet time, will be out watching games all the time, will watch the opposition games as well as our own, and does everything right from social media to treating everyone no matter who they are and what role they have with the same level of respect.

J : I would certainly endorse Bakes' choices with Togs, Scott and Josh but I think we have a very professional changing room in general right now. Times have moved on from when we used to play and the vast majority of players at this level eat right, prepare well and do their own work outside of our training and matches to make sure they are in peak condition. We do have a couple who like a few beers (I wont mention names!) but even those lads are far more sensible now (I think!) than they might have been a few years ago.



Out of all the players you’ve managed, which one would you want to add to our current squad to improve us.

N : Well asking me currently, we are obviously struggling in a forward position with the injuries, so a fit Matty Stevens would be great.

J : Definitely either Matty Stevens, who was great for us, or Elijah Adebayo who has ended up doing really well for himself at Luton as they would certainly give us an additional attacking threat right now with the injuries we have in that position.



If you could pick any current player to play for Slough who would it be?

N : Would have to Haaland on his current form, and absolute beast.

J : A few months ago I would have said Messi as in my view he's the best there has ever been but with Haaland's form since coming to the Premier League I am not sure you can pick anyone else.



Which is the best ground in terms of welcome, facilities etc you have visited as away managers?

N: In our league I would say that Dulwich are always very friendly, and always look after us, and also their food after is often top drawer, outside of that I always get a friendly welcome at my old club Farnborough.

J : Definitely Dulwich. Nice people there behind the scenes, always a good atmosphere but not hostile as a result of the type of fans they have there now, plus really good food after the game and we have a good record there on the pitch too.



What’s the best Slough Town match you’ve managed

N : For me it has to be Gainsborough away for the all round performance, we have had some good performances, but that one sticks out as almost perfection that day.

J : Agree that Gainsborough was the best team performance, by a long way I have to say, but others that stand out are the two playoff wins obviously, both coming from behind, and the 5-4 comeback win at Merthyr wasn't bad either!



Your favourite Slough Town goal?

N : Outside of Jamie McClurgs or Manny Williams in play off games, or Dobbos at Merthyr, I think for me one recently that sticks in my mind is Warren Harris in the home league game against Bath when we had just equalised and having not won in the first 5 league games. He scored in the very last minute to win us the game and kick start the league campaign which ended up in the play offs, had we not won that game it might have put a lot of pressure on us as managers and as a team, however it gave us and the team the belief to push on.

J : For me it has to be Manny's late winner in the playoff final at Kings Lynn. It was such a big deal for us as managers to get to the National League South, and to take the club to that next level, and Manny's goal was the one that took us all there so will always be a special memory for me.



Whats the best 3 games for you that the fans were the best of the best?


N : Welling away when they made so much noise, I think we won the game with a Robbo penalty, Woking away in the league when we won 1-0 they were brilliant, and also away at York where they were top class.

J : The playoff at Kings Lynn was amazing in terms of the number that travelled, the noise throughout the game and the celebrations at the end. Sutton away in the FA Cup stands out as a game where I looked behind the goal and it just felt like we were a proper big club with the support we had that day. And for a different reason I'll pick out the midweek 5-4 at Merthyr as those who made that journey that day, an incredible effort on a Tuesday night, did the club proud and they will always remember that one and be glad they went!



Slough have been promoted and are in the National League. What do you change?

N Wow this a tough one, we would all have to change I guess with the step up, that is effectively a professional league, and we would all have to improve, I think it would be difficult to change to a full time model in that first season, but eventually would be great to have a full time team.

J Where do I start?! The league above is a huge step up now with some big clubs coming down from the EFL and some massive budgets. Any club that goes up from this league and stays there deserves huge credit and it would take a massive effort on and off the pitch for us to do that. Full-time players and staff would be needed definitely if we were to do this over a sustained period of time.



What would you both do if we got promoted and had to go full time?

N : Would not be a problem for me, I would still be able to combine my current role with the full time football.

J : I would 100% want to do it. It's my dream to manage full-time and I would jump at the opportunity.



There’s a Slough Town FC band invited to play at Wembley. Bakes is on keyboard, who else is in the band?


N : I would need to be on keyboard and lead vocal, I would pull Paul Hodges back in for lead guitair, would get Warren on the drums, and Max Roscoe on the xylophone 😉 Unders would be nowhere near it.

J : A few of our ex-players had some talent (Freddie, Hodgey, Dunny and a few others) but not so sure about the current group so for me I'd just go with Bakes sat with a piano singing Elton John songs all night. What more do you need?!


Saturday, October 08, 2022

WE DON'T NEED NO RELEGATION

Printed in the National League South game v Hemel Hempstead Town Saturday 8th October 2022. We lost 2-0 in front of 647

National Pastime: How Americans Play Baseball and the Rest of the World Plays Soccer’ is not my usual bedtime reading. I know or care little about baseball but I have got an interest in how other sports economics works, and a few years ago with American football owners buying up more and more Premier League clubs you could see what was coming over the horizon. It surely wouldn’t be long before they would be rubbing their baseball bats and wanting to bring in a model that would make their investments secure.

One of the authors who also wrote ‘Soccernomics’ is Stefan Szymanski: “U.S. sports have an awful lot of revenue sharing and mechanisms to limit salaries, because the teams operate cooperatively, because it doesn’t matter where you come in the league, your sporting success doesn’t matter, you’re just in business to make money.”

And how do you do that? American sports leagues are closed, meaning there is no relegation and promotion. As Szymanski points out “The natural conclusion that the Americans reach, is if promotion and relegation makes you unprofitable, why don’t we just get rid of it?”

So, what does this mean for the future of European football?

In April 2021, the European Super League was announced – a breakaway competition that would see 15 of Europe’s elite clubs form their own, closed league. Although it was the brainchild of Spaniard Florentino Perez, it would not have gathered as much momentum as it did without the influence of American Premier League owners John Henry (Liverpool), Stan Kroenke (Arsenal), and Joel Glazer (Manchester United), who were all announced as vice-chairmen of the proposal and confirmed their clubs’ participation.

According to Szymanski, Chelsea’s purchase at the hands of US investors will only lead to further conflict between English football traditionalists and profit-focused American owners.

Already Chelsea billionaire owner Todd Boehly has come up with a plan to share the wealth that doesn’t involve any of that silly football regulation and levelling up the playing field.

You see what we’ve all been missing is an end of season extravaganza of north v south or more Harlem globetrotting games for the Premier League All Stars to play similar matches across the world. I don’t think he goes far enough. Wouldn’t it be better the go the whole It’s A Knockout hog featuring ball juggling competitions, blindfold shooting by the top 10 golden boot contenders, sumo suits and red noses stuck on anyone who does a bad tackle, finished off by a We-Are-the-Champions style swimming pool bundle at the end. That’s much more fun that getting stuck with some FA Cup third round replay at Rochdale.

Football is the perfect example of just how trickle down economics work - continually enriching the few while everyone else goes to the wall trying to join the club.

So they’ve come up with another Football New Deal which will lob a few bananas to those at the bottom of the football pyramid in exchange for some alarming proposals One of those was that Championship sides should all be required to take a certain number of under 23 players on loan from Premier League clubs. The Fair Game initiatve, set up last October to promote better governance in footbal and supported by over 30 league clubs was not impressed ‘The football pyramid is not the Premier League’s plaything.’

The top clubs say they are concerned by the increased strain on an already packed calendar that Uefa's Champions League expansion will create from 2024. An extension they wanted but which requires a cut in lower revenue generating domestic games. So wave goodbye to FA Cup replays, or the big clubs having to enter the League Cup; expect more shouting about B teams in the football league and fewer clubs in the Premier. All part of a continuing reorganisation of the English game for the benefit of a small number of clubs. And while this new government is against any regulation of anything believing the free market will sort out all our problems, as Charlie Methuen a former director of Sunderland pointed out “current practices are protectionist enough to make a Mexican cartel leader wince.”

Despite their super league bloody nose, the idea is never far away, with the Real Madrid boss once again shouting it needs to be done, complaining that youngsters are turning away from football.

As Szymanski points out : “I see this millennial struggle between the forces that say we want to preserve the system of promotion and relegation, and the hard-nosed money men coming in from the US who say we want closed leagues that are profitable like they are in the United States, I see that conflict becoming sharper, but I certainly think the European Super League debacle was not the last word, but maybe perhaps the first shot, in a longer drawn-out war.”