These articles are published in the Slough Town FC programme. The Rebels play in the National League South in a swanky new ground. I’ve been supporting Slough since the beginning of time despite now living in Brighton.

Wednesday, January 30, 2019


Printed in the National League South Division game v Gloucester City Tuesday 12th February 2019. We lost 2-1 in front of 463 people.
What person in their right mind would buy a football club? With so many clubs flying close to the wind the sugar daddies don't seem to be queuing up like they used too. It's hardly surprising, when the rewards are gambling away a fortune and be given endless abuse for the privilege as you try and grab a slice of the Premier League pie.
The top clubs load the dice so much in their favour – and yet still want more. Like the worlds richest people who recently met in Davos they don't want to be governed like the rest of us, but allowed to do as they please.
Manchester City's Pep Guardiola wants B teams in the football league, because as we can see from the Checkatrade Trophy this has really excited fans of lower league clubs with all sorts of records being broken - for the lowest crowds ever recorded in a competitive match.

I think the reserve league for the young players is not good enough,” Guardiola said. “They compete in these second teams but the consistency is not physically strong. Here, they play with no spectators. I think it’s a real problem for English football. So why can we not create Man City or Man United second team and not play in the Championship against Newcastle? They’d play for the second team of United, City, Tottenham and they compete with Newcastle playing in front of huge [numbers of] fans. That is the future of English football.”

Forgetting for a moment that Newcastle are still a Premier League side, a brilliant article on the Plymouth 'Argyle Life' blog by Nick Saunders Smith pulled his argument to pieces 'At the moment, the b-team debate is academic: the English Football League (EFL) ruled out their introduction back in September 2016. However, the financial muscle of the Premier League must not be underestimated. The promise of financial reward could, one day, persuade enough EFL teams to back the plan, so it’s always worth re-affirming why the argument is not only arrogant, but also utterly wrong.

'It doesn’t matter if a player demonstrates that they can physically compete in the Championship. Top Premier League clubs simple do not care. They have so many young players coming through their academies (players who have swept up from academies all over the country) that if a player isn’t a world beater, they can write them off and move onto the next one. Understand this, Pep: managerial cowardice among the top Premier League clubs – Manchester City and Chelsea in particular – is a far bigger factor than the lack of b-teams. You wouldn’t even start Phil Foden against Burton Albion! A midfield of Kevin De Bruyne, Ilkay Gundogan and David Silva? Two World Cup winners against Burton Albion! No wonder Sancho left. No wonder Hudson-Odoi is trying to escape Chelsea. You are the problem, not the lack of b-teams.'

Rather than destroying the football league, maybe those clubs should stop hoarding players like people banic buying before Brexit. As the Plymouth Blog continued 'A main reason why b-teams are appealing to these rich clubs is that they can exploit the system to stockpile players and guarantee them professional game time. It’s just another power-play designed not to progress these players so much as it is to allow them to hoard the best young talent from their rivals and – as Chelsea have done so well – monetise their potential.” The fact that Chelsea are currently waiting to hear from Fifa whether they will be banned from the transfer market after being investigated over potential rule breaches with regard to more than 100 foreign players under the age of 18, says it all. 
Does it have to be like this? 
We need a fairer footballing formula where financial muscle isn't rewarded but footballing ability. Communities build there clubs, not billionaires – and as we can see from a car crash of clubs – Sunderland, Charlton, Blackpool, Coventry, Bolton, Notts County, Hull... - it rarely ends well. As the breath of fresh air that is Accrington Stanley's chairman Andy Holt points out “Every owner outside the Premier League is a rogue owner in waiting. Clubs are not sustainable, it’s just a matter of time before they get sick of throwing money down a black hole.” The average League Two club lost £13,500 every week. Those that made a profit did so by selling players (unlikely to be repeated every year) or other assets. 
Clubs like Slough Town are so far from the top end of football its almost a different sport. And yet even here, where we are enjoying success both on and off the field beyond our wildest dreams from a few years back, people complain. I suppose that's human nature, but that where's I love the attitude of the Accrington Stanley chairman whose let's supporters know the real cost of running a football club. So should Slough take the lead and publish how much we earn from the gate receipts, the bar, sponsorship, the golden goal? Then ask supporters do they want to gamble and bankrupt the club?
But as Andy Holt talking sense once again 'The general consensus amongst owners is that it’s their club, they should be able to spend what they want on it. I couldn’t disagree more. Overspending damages most clubs. It makes not overspending a massive disadvantage. The rules around spending are next to useless... It's not my club. I can't pick it up and take it home. There were 20 or 30 people before me. They were just custodians. I want Accrington to be here in 50 years time.' No wonder the club that refused to die is punching so far above its weight and is quickly becoming everyone's favourite second team.

Thursday, January 17, 2019


Printed in the National League South game v Chippenham Town Saturday 19th January 2019 We drew 2-2 in front of 605 people.

It's one year since the passing of Slough Town physio SuperKev McGoldrick. Kev was such an integral part of Slough sticking with the club through thick and plenty of thin for an incredible 32 years. His interview before our FA Cup game against Rochdale, embodied everything that was great about the man and what he wanted for the club. So we felt it was a good time to get our supporters to put some questions to our (non-playing) management team Neil, Jon, Trent and Alex.

What does the future hold for Slough Town FC and yourselves as managers?! Is there a five year plan? Are you aiming to consolidate within the National League South and push for promotion next year? Will Slough be looking at going full time if the success continues?

Neil: Ideally we will remain with Slough for a long time to come, it is a great club and with a wonderful chairman and whilst we still want to progress and feel that we can, we would be mad to leave. It is also nice being some of the longest serving managers around.

I think there is probably a 3 year plan to get up, in that we would like to get up to the next level in that period. Ideally we would do it quicker, however it took us 4 years to get promoted from Step 3 and we are now at a level with big clubs and as we will not throw silly money to get up, we will just continue to strive to be better, and have some enjoyable moments along the way.

There are clubs bigger than Slough that have remained at this level now for a number of years, and people have to understand this.

Personally I believe full time football at Slough is a long way off, I think it has been proved that you can get to the next level and remain part time, although it does get harder, you usually find that going from part time to full time also means having to take different types of players on.

I also do not feel the support is there to substantiate full time football. I would guess you would need to be up near the 2000 mark, and even then would probably need someone subsidising.

Do you plan on staying at Slough for the foreseeable future and or do you plan to go into bigger and better things ie a football league club?

Neil: As mentioned both myself and Jon have loved every moment at Slough, and is now for both of us the longest we have remained at one club as a player or manager, and we would like to continue this for the foreseeable future.

We are always ambitious to achieve more and keep on improving, however we would love that to be with Slough. Personally I could not see many jobs tempting us away at the level up, though if a League One or Two team came in then I think we would have to listen, though I could not see something like this happening anytime soon.

What if a (higher level) club offered the managers job to just one of you, would you take it and split up the partnership?

Neil: I think Jon’s wife Christina would love it, as it would mean the constant phone calls from me would stop, however I can speak for Jon and myself in saying that I would not want to do it without him, and vice versa, we have a great working relationship. Also how would we split Trent, Alex and Togs, as these are 3 vital components to the management team.

What difficulties/experiences have you both found from stepping up another division this year?

Neil: I wouldn’t say we have had any difficulties as such, we always felt that we could compete with the side we had last year, as we knew the vast majority were good enough for the level up, and this has been the case. The league is stronger in terms of no easy games, and teams better organised, but I wouldn’t say any side has frightened us yet with their all round play, and we go into every game confident we can get a result.

One difference I would guess is so many more players are under contract at teams, so you can’t just go and put a 7 day approach in for a player. We have talked too about 3 or 4 players this season that we have come across, and each time we have enquired they have been under contract.

Experience wise it has been great; bigger games in better grounds in front of decent crowds.

How tough has it been losing all the original Godalming players- and are they still on good terms with the ones that have been replaced?

Jon: We currently have 2 left from that Godalming team in Warren Harris and Guy Hollis, and they were probably the 2 when we were at the club that due to age and ability you knew could play at a much higher level, and this has been proved.

I think it is very difficult to replace any player, but was even harder with the Godalming lads, as a lot of those lads were good friends.

Two of the hardest ones to let go were Jamie McClurg and Ben Edwards, both very close friends (Bakes was best man at Ben's wedding). Good players, who would run through brick walls for us. However we felt we needed to start changing the dynamics, and we ended up letting them go on the same day, and to date the toughest thing we have had to do.

However in management you have to put feelings aside, and whilst you want to treat everyone well and with respect, when releasing people it is natural for them to be upset.

In terms of are we on good terms with them all (Godalming), the answer is on the whole yes. We regularly meet up for a curry and the odd night out, obviously there is the odd exception to that, but on the whole I think we remain on good terms with most people we have let go from the club.

Have you ever signed a player based on football manager? What’s the strangest circumstances surrounding a player signing?

Jon: We would never sign a player unless we had seen him a number of times and we were absolutely convinced of his character and that he was signing for the right reasons. Any player we sign has to have hunger and we feel our lack of player turnover is one of the big reasons we have such a strong spirit and togetherness within the changing room.

The strangest circumstances behind a signing would have to be this season when Bakes put out a Twitter plea for a back-up goalkeeper for the FA Cup. Many probably thought it was a strange thing for a senior non-league club to do but it was a one-off situation (needing someone to just come and sit on the bench for us) and we felt it was necessary. It worked; we had lots of response and more publicity for the club, and we were able to sign a very capable lad who was there if we needed him. 

If you could add one National League South Player to the Slough squad who would it be and why?

Jon: The standout player from the games we have seen this season has been Nassim L’Ghoul, the winger at Welling, who was superb when we went there in October. Based on his performance that day any team in this league would want to have him in their side!

Create a best xi of the players you’ve managed

To answer this question we have decided to remove any player that is currently with us as it’s not right to pick one player over another in our current squad. We do believe our current squad is the best we’ve ever managed so technically you could list them all as our best xi!

Mark Scott

Stuart Harte Adam Foulser (capt) Dave Woozley Paul Stonehouse

George Short Jamie McClurg Ben Edwards Darren Wheeler

Matty Stevens Scott Harris

Who is, or has been your favourite player to work with? (could be work ethic or just fun and amusing)
As you would expect some of our longest serving players would come in to the reckoning here as managers tend to stick with players they know and trust so many in the team above would certainly fit in to this category but the one player we would always pick out would be Warren Harris. He has been with us for 7 years and not once has he not given 100% when he’s stepped on to the pitch. He’s had great games, scored some vital goals and as with any player he’s also had some bad games but you will never see him not give his all and a lot of players could learn from him. He never misses a training session and remains a pleasure for us to manage.

You can sign any current player in the world for free - who and why

Well that’s an easy one. Lionel Messi, the best there has ever been.

If you need a new player have you thought of giving Trent a swear jar?

Ha ha that’s not a bad idea! To be fair we all have our ‘moments’ on the sidelines and that is due to our passion for the game and will to win. Trent is a fantastic character around the dressing room and we wouldn’t have him any other way!

Trent, can you give us a bit of background about yourself
'Like Bakes I had been brought up in a football family with my father Gordon having been a professional at Brentford, football has always been a massive part of my life. Like my Dad I took to being between the sticks but my brother Kelly made his name as a decent centre forward for Staines and Hampton (when Super Kev was their physio). I was lucky enough to gain promotion to the Isthmian Premier with Walton and Hersham and Staines on two occasions as well as winning the Middlesex Senior Cup and Carlsberg Cup Final, however it is fair to say I have enjoyed more success in the dug out first with 9 seasons under Steve Cordery and Craig Maskell at Staines Town before taking a year out. I then received a call out of the blue from Jon Underwood, which is probably the best phone call i've ever received.

Slough Town have always been a massive club and one that we used to look up to when I was at Staines, I used to love playing at Wexham Park. To be playing a small part in getting the club where we are going is amazing. My wife Claire and my eldest Darcie attended her first game at Arbour Park recently and I think the biggest compliment I could give the club is how professional she said everyone was whilst also being so polite. 

Alex, can you give us a bit of background about yourself

Not much to say about me really! Grew up in Swindon where football was a big part of my life, being a season ticket holder at Swindon for a number of years (not doing too well in recent years) and playing for a local team for 11 only to stop after injury (Ironic I know!). Moved to Cardiff for University completing working for Cardiff Devils & Cardiff hockey club before moving back over the bridge to complete a masters in the local area. I was lucky the club gave me the opportunity to join up and work with Kev at the start of last season, loving every minute of what is a special club with some great fans. Was a pleasure to play a small part of the success of last season, with the FA Cup run against Rochdale and the promotion via the playoffs, and reaching the second round this year again! Great club to be involved with, and love working with Bakes, Unders, Trent, Togs and the rest of the team!

Questions for everyone

Best away ground you’ve ever been to in any capacity and why?

Bakes: Doncaster away in the League Cup Final when I was playing, due to the circumstances of a sell out crowed of 7500, and 1000 being kept outside.

Unders: Same game as Bakes, due to the big crowed and the imitating atmosphere.

Trent: The Goldstone ground, proper football ground when Brighton were there.

Alex: For me 2nd visit to Kings Lynn in the playoff final, great atmosphere and lovely to win the game the way we did in front of their crowd. 

Only Fools And Horses or Minder?

Management team (All): Easy question! Only Fools and Horses all day long!

Whose the funniest player you've seen in a dressing room

Bakes, Unders & Trent: Johnnie Dyer, was a fantastic character in the dressing room, very funny and would come out with some absolute gems.

Which club has served the best aftermath grub

All management: Think you would go a long way to beat what we have at Arbour Park, always lovely and massively appreciated from the management and all the players!

Alex, it must be hard to have such massive boots to fill with the passing of SuperKev. How did you end up working at Slough?

Of course it was, like everyone says Kev was a true Slough legend and was rightly in everyone’s eyes Mr Slough Town himself. I worked very closely with Kev for 5 months and even in that small amount of time, I learnt a lot of the techniques he used every day in the job and the stuff many would find boring in my job, however the main thing Kev taught me was how to conduct myself as he was the prime example. Kev would always be the first to arrive, and the last to leave to ensure everyone got the treatment they needed. Even when his illness started to get worst, Kev used to say as long as the players are okay, that’s all that matters, which shows the character he was, and is something I aim to follow in his footsteps at Slough.

I ended up at the club after a chat with John Porter who I got in contact with after I moved to the area after qualifying in Cardiff. I came in for what I thought was a chat/interview with Kev, and sat down and just started talking for 20 minutes about the club, the history etc. Next thing I know, the players have arrived for training and started giving some treatment to some of the squad and have never looked back and am loving every minute.

Kev was such an integral part of the Slough Town squad, how did his death effect everyone, and how can we best remember him.

Management team (All): Kev was and still is a massive part of this team, and someone we still think about constantly. I think how he was thought of with past and present players shows the character he was within the team, and what some probably don’t know is the whole team travelled up to the hospital on a free Saturday after training to spend time with him, along with the fantastic turn out from the club at the funeral shows and speaks massive volume of what he means to us all.

We have a few different ways we like to remember Kev. At all home games Kev’s bag sits in the dugout in his normal seat just like he did every week, and we take Kev’s bag away to a lot of the important away games for a bit of luck (worked in Kings Lynn for the final!). Massive credit needs to be given to the council for allowing us to change the name of the medical room, which has been renamed to the Kev McGoldrick treatment room, which is a lovely little touch when we are playing at home.

Last thing which is really nice for us is how the McGoldrick family have become more and more involved in the club, with a new legacy being created. You can regularly see Kev’s sister and daughter in the crowd and is a joy to catch up with them before and after each game.'

Thanks to everyone for taking time out to answer these questions. RIP Super Kev

Wednesday, January 09, 2019


Printed in the National League South game v Chelmsford City Saturday 12th January 2019 We won 1-0 in front of 765.

While Slough fans were enjoying the delights of the English Riviera it was also FA Cup 3rd round weekend. This is the Orwellian stage of the competition, where pundits go hoarse telling us its the best cup in the world while Premier League managers nod their heads disapproving and send out squad players ready for the slaughter worried they might finish 9th rather than 7th if they get distracted. That's because years down the line fans always remember a mid table finish rather than winning a cup.
The main story for me was the protests and the people behind clubs that have risen from the dead thanks to fan power. Pride of place must go to Newport who after going bankrupt had to start again. Refusing to be part of the new Welsh League they became The Exiles playing 80 miles away in Moreton-in-Marsh in the Hellenic League while their old ground stood empty. They piled up the pyramid, took the Welsh FA to court and 29 years later here they are knocking Leicester City out of the cup celebrating by spraying everyone with water as there was no champagne to hand. Over in Blackpool, the supporters boycott of the club held firm despite the glamour of Arsenal rolling into town. Mass protests outside included one supporter refusing to budge off the top of the Arsenal players coach, making them get another one to the game. Owen Oysten recently won Against League 3's worst football chairman award, which is some going with such a low bar. A convicted rapist, he has asset stripped the club and threatened court with any fans who dared criticise. He's been taken to court, had his own assets frozen but is refusing to sell, so the supporters are refusing to go.
Tottenham fans had their banners confiscated that spelt out their displeasure about TV moving their game away to Tranmere to a Friday night, making it impossible to get home by train, just a few days after they had travelled to Cardiff on New Years Day. We often here about how the players are exhausted after the hectic festive period, but never anything about the fans financial exhaustion.
Another Roy of the Rovers story was Oldham Athletic whose caretaker manager is an Oldham fan who had bought tickets to go to the game but ended up managing their victory at Fulham! I was also pleased to see Accrington Stanley knock Ipswich out and earn a few bob. The club is run by the most honest and transparent chairman in the league. Recently their away game to Sunderland was moved to a Friday night thanks to TV with Accrington rewarded with just £10,000 for this inconvenience. They are using the money to offer free coach travel and paying for anyone out of pocket who'd booked Sunderland hotels for the Saturday.
Sloughs hectic games of football has meant I've had to go to a payday loan shark to keep up, but who worries about clothing the kids when you have Torquay away in the League. A lot of us felt we had to go as we don't expect them to playing them next season, as they sit pretty on top of the National South on a club record tenth league unbeaten run. With the Billericay Dickie financial bubble bursting, its a two horse race between them and those gravediggers from Woking.
As we approached the ground, I had to pinch myself. We were such a homeless basket-case for so long; following Slough used to be like having needles poked in your eyes in villages of the Damned. Take today's opponents. The only time I have been to Chelmsford was just before Christmas 2006 the season they moved to their new ground. As we waited to get in our manager at the time told us another 5 Slough players had left and warned Nigel to be ready for an Eton Wick comeback gig. We lost 5-1 and were relegated that season from the Isthmian Premier League with just 18 points conceding a staggering 123 goals!
Now its a joy and going away is like mini holiday where you drink beer with your mates, have a laugh and watch some great football.
120 of us clambered into Plainmoor, many needing oxygen masks and vertigo tablets from their carers to handle the steepness of the stand. We were once again in fine voice and while not pretty Slough were frustrating and snuffing out a full time team with a heavy Bristol City presence. Now everyone wants a player like Ben Harris in their team, he gives full blooded commitment and let's opposition players know he's there. But on the stroke of half time, after a crunching tackle we were down to 10 men when the ref said he gesticulated to the Torquay crowd. The ref admitted later that he didn't see it, but that match changing decision left us with a bigger mountain to climb than the Torquay terraces and they ran out 4-0 winners - the first time we had been beaten by more than one goal all season. Yes Torquay were good, but I wasn't the only one to cringe when we heard man of the match was given to the manager and whole squad. You might as well have given it to the Slough fans for non stop singing.
Still onwards and upwards as they say; time to prostitute myself so I can afford a train ticket to Weston-super-mare.

Thursday, January 03, 2019


Printed in the National League South game v Bath City on Tuesday 8th January 2019  We drew 0-0 in front of 520 people.
Every football fan knows that away games are more fun and over the festive period we've been spoilt with some Christmas crackers.
Dulwich Hamlet's timing to go back home for Christmas couldn't have come at a better time for Slough and our game at Champion Hill felt more like a carnival than a football match.
The last time I saw Slough play there was February 2004. Both teams were doing well in the Isthmian League Division South but just 226 people paid to see us win 4-2; at least half of those Slough fans. Fast forward 14 years and 2,900 are packed into Champion Hill – at least 226 of them Slough fans who never stopped singing or drinking. Christ, I even got a halloumi burger rather than the usual soggy, under cooked chips that seem to be a football speciality. I've said before that Slough fans are more hip replacement than hipster, but its an easy insult to throw at Dulwich who have worked bloody hard to create a welcoming atmosphere for families. Thankfully Slough is blessed with supporters like Kieran who with his camo shorts and bobble hat showed the beards whose boss when it comes to the fashion stakes. 

It's great they are back home for at least 18 months but they have definitely outgrown their current facilities. Apart from the seated stand one Slough supporter commented that the ground looked more like an Eastern European prison camp. And it can't be much fun when it rains. Or when you need the loo. We crossed our legs and Slough delivered a proper smash and grab to earn three more points.
Goodwill from the home fans was in short supply for our Boxing Day trip to Wealdstone, who under the stewardship of long term manager Gordon Bartlett shot up the leagues and eventually found a home again at the tranquil surroundings of Ruislip. Clocking up 22 years, Bartlett was the longest serving manager in the whole of the football pyramid, but stepped down in the summer of 2017 to take on a backroom role. But all is not well and a club who were gearing themselves for the next step up look on that performance like heading back down (Wealdstone have of course got the last laugh beating us on New Years Day at Arbour Park). We battered them in the first half so having to leave at half time wasn't ideal. Yes I got a birthday double header of football and saw Brighton play Arsenal but really when you pull a goal back I expect the Brighton ground to be rocking. Sometimes it feels like i'm in a theatre with people nervously looking at their watches leaving early to queue for public transport. So I was more than happy to give my season ticket to one of my eldests friends and miss the Brighton – Everton game so I could indulge in some Hamlet.
Sloughs support has been getting bigger, louder and more of a laugh (well apart from at home where I’m wondering if they are putting tranquilizers in our beer). Even when we were homeless in the dog and duck playing Small Village United (and losing) we traveled well. But after watching the highlights of the win against Dulwich in 2004 the language and abuse of the ref made my hair curl.
I can't say at Wealdstone I was that impressed with the abuse former player Matt Lench was getting. A former hero now zero, I get he's easy to wind up and he probably felt he had something to prove but come on, unless someone’s been a proper plonker let's knock that and the 'your s*** ahhhh' goalkeeper kick chant into touch. We can and do do a lot better and have more fun while were at it. So it was good to see a couple of tweets from Dulwich fans praising us, comments like 'nice to see enthusiastic away supporters without the boring baggage you so often get unfortunatelycredit to your club.' I'm just surprised they didn't mention our fashion sense as well. 

The legendary Wealdstone Raider. Wantsum?