These articles are published in the Slough Town FC programme. The Rebels play in the National League South in a swanky new ground. I’ve been supporting Slough since the beginning of time despite now living in Brighton.

Friday, November 15, 2019

WATERLOGGED-VILLE

Published in the National League South game v Tonbridge Angels Saturday 30th November 2019 We drew 0-0 in front of 771
 
Maybe we shouldn't have sung so loudly when the game was called off, although to be fair we were in such high spirits we were singing songs about Deanos dysfunctional balloons. Havant and Waterlooville was becoming Waterloggedville, the ref losing his footing, the ball not moving, the rain continuing to pour. It was more conducive to water-polo than football. We had just gone 2-0 down and their supporters weren't happy, some giving us an earful as we replenished our glasses in their bar; not that I remember me personally making the decision to call the game off. 

 
So it got me thinking of where else Slough fans had travelled across the country to see half a game. I'm sure if the legendary John Tebbit was still around he would let us know about those long forgotten abandoned games in Sloughs distant past, but these are some I can remember.
I got totally lost in the pouring rain one Tuesday evening trying to find Walton and Hersham's ground and arrived just before half time starving and soaked. I could only find a burger bun with onions to eat and the game got called off before the second half started. I sat freezing waiting for the train back home questioning my sanity after seeing no football but feeling like i'd wet my pants.
At Horsham the heavens opened and the game was called off with just 20 minutes played. While I sat miserable on my rail replacement bus at least I was better off than Yeovil Steve who had legged it after work to see the game from the West Country and whose car was stuck in the mud in the Horsham car-park. Slough fans helping him push out the mud, got covered in crap for their troubles.
It took us weeks to walk from Arlesey train station to the football ground, the longest village in the world. Luckily we got picked up by our manager before we ran out of food and water. But the ref injured himself during the game, and no one would step up to be a replacement lino so the game was called off. Once again I was handed a useless ticket to come to the next midweek game which I would never make. Then we found out that under the rules, the game could have carried on with just one linesman!
At Banbury a teenager who had apparently already been thrown out, hit the ref with a bottle of water full in the face at half time, knocking him out. The ref then refused to come out second half and the game was called off. The league bottled it as well, taking an age to make a decision before saying we had to play a meaningless game at the end of another waterlogged, frozen off abandoned season.
So thank our plastic stars for artificial pitches. It would take a nuclear war or stray firework to call a 3G game off and it is the future of non league football.
I'm not sure we will get such a warm welcome at the rearranged Havant game but calling the ref a cheat is the sort of nonsense which has ultimately led to VAR which as we can all see has sorted out the contentious decisions
As for Slough, maybe Deano will have patched up his balloon for Chippenham, but does this make the Chippenham match Bakes and Unders 501¾ game in charge? We're going to struggle with a song and a balloon for that.