PERKS AT THE PARK

One of the ways for Slough Town to raise money, is for people to spend more time at Arbour Park. So what can the club do to encourage you to come along a bit earlier or stay a little longer?

We handed out some questionaires which Matchday Manager Ade has waded through and come up with some answers

Can we copy Hungerford ‘4 for a score deal.’ (for £20 you get admission, programme, burger or pie and chips plus a pint).

“Whilst it's a great deal, with our agreement with the council we are heavily reliant on our gate income, and we also need deals that include everyone not those that just drink and have a burger. Hence why we launched the Mini Saver Ticket which reduces the admission price.”

Food deals for Season Ticket (ST) holders

“This is something we have tried before and it worked really well and we will probably do again, the only issue is that ST sales are down due to people not affording them, so we do have to look at deals for everyone.”

Food Deals

“This is something that is very much trial and error, we need to find deals that not only appeal but are also economically beneficial for the club. Hopefully fans have seen the ' Beer and pie for £5' offer in the downstairs tea bar which has proved very popular.”

Food Offering

“Tough one, the kitchen at Arbour Park isn't really suitable for fast turnaround which is why there are often queues, it also limits the food we can offer but it is out of our hands. We have tried food vendors; we wanted someone to cook Asian cuisine but ended up with chicken burgers. Some of the vendors we have approached have asked for absurd fees or costs which really aren't going to help the club financially.”

Music and after match events

“This is something we are looking into and have tried before. Few times we have, think the word is enjoyed, some great karaoke nights and the odd band or two. Again the balance between cost of band and extending opening hours has to be balanced by the revenue returns. There has been the odd quiz night but never on a match day so this is something that we will consider.”

Premier League games in bar

“We have shown the early games on Saturday this season. The after match games are on Sky which we don't have but if someone out there knows how to purchase a commercial weekly/daily pass then please get in contact.”

Childrens entertainment

“We have been in conversation with the Supporters Trust about the possibility of an inflatable goal and talks are going well. The hard part is to provide entertainment for the kids we need volunteers to run them but as we know they are very hard to find, hint, hint.

“Someone asked why we don't offer kids for a quid. We have done this on many occasions, normally during half term. Fans should have seen the local kids teams providing a guard of honour while waving flags and the half time kickabout which is something we hope to continue.”

Offer during World Cup

“Our fantastic Mini Saver Ticket is already up and running and when the tournament comes round we will heavily promote this to local Premier League fans.”

Happy Hour

“Tried and tested and works quite well, it's definitely something we will do again but unlikely to be a weekly offer.”

The strange requests

“ While we are very grateful that fans took the time to fill out the

questionnaire we really couldn’t offer some of your suggestions. A Punch & Judy show is one, line dancing another, Leeds United TV another but haven’t Slough fans not suffered enough!?”

“Thanks to everyone who took the time to fill out the questionnaire and to Warren for harassing the fans to fill them out. You can still approach us with any ideas and we will see what we can do.”

You can chat to Ade with your ideas or want to volunteer either at games or email him on  adrian.gomm@sloughtownfc.net 

ALL THE REBELS

Published in the FA Cup 2nd Qualifying round game v Worthing Saturday 18th September 2022    We lost 3-1 in front of 474

It’s not often you play a team with the same nickname as your own, so anyone attempting our numerous Rebel songs might get themselves in an FA Cup pickle. ‘Rebel, Rebel, Boing, Boing’ and the whole place will be rocking. Mind you, and no disrespect to Worthing, but I did feel slightly underwhelmed with the draw of another club in our league. Still, I suppose it wasn’t Dartford who we seem to be drawn to like moths to a flame; but the ball baggers could have at least had the decency to pick Worthing out first so I could have a short trip by train.

We could do with a cup run, not just for the cash but also the exposure you get as you pile through the rounds dreaming of the First round good and proper and the chance to take on a league club; then lose in the second round to keep up our record breaking run (eight times in the second round without winning, since you ask).

It’s the 150^th year of the FA Cup, beginning in August and ending next June, with 732 entering and a record 208 playing in the extra preliminary round. One of those was Northern League side Heaton Stannington, the nearest club to Newcastle United. Speaking to The Athletic, their club secretary Scott Lyndon said: “After the World Cup, the FA Cup is probably the most famous cup competition on the planet and it’s quite special for a club at this level to be able to say, ‘We play in that.’

Despite all its riches, football is a financial car crash but the FA Cup is one of the few ways left to throw lower league clubs a life raft. Lyndon explained what winning in the extra preliminary round meant, with clubs receiving £1,125 for a victory, £375 for the losers.

Heaton played their first cup game against Pickering Town in front of 233 spectators. “What happens is you collect all the gate receipts; out of that, you pay the referee and officials — £65 for the ref, £40 for the assistants — plus the travel of the away team — either petrol or cost of a bus hire. If it’s a night game, there’s money for the floodlights. In later rounds, if you need St John Ambulance (medical volunteers), you can take that out.

“Once you’ve done all that, you split what’s left 50-50 between the two clubs — if you’re in negative, you share the loss between the clubs. For the Pickering game, we ended up with £50 each. But, as the home club, we made our money through the bar, the snack hut, programmes, the raffle, those peripheral sales. It was a lucrative day for us.”

I’ve already had a taste of this years competition with a trip to watch Newhaven v Sheppey United in the preliminary round replay. Newhaven is a small town of around 12,000 with a working harbour and a claim to fame that Lord Lucan left his blood stained car there, never to be seen again.

They’d won their previous round replay 10-0 so we were expecting goals. A frantic end to end game that was also the first one on the Dockers new 3G pitch. This meant an endless puff of black plastic bobbles floating in the sky, as the ferry made its customary matchday appearance opposite the main stand. Sheppey who had been just been promoted to the Isthmian League eventually won, but as ever I was impressed with what’s happening at Newhaven. Growing crowds (a bumper 328 for this game) improved facilities (groundhoppers will love the old abandoned stand and seats behind the new ones), better marketing and most importantly all the youngsters with Newhaven tops. As we know 3G opens up so many possibilities with hiring out the pitch and letting all the Newhaven teams play on it.

The new pitch is thanks to money form the governments Levelling Up fund. Newhaven does need some investment and most of their high street needs levelling, which some bright spark encircled with a main road. 

Newhaven's ground is surrounded by woods, a skateboard park, Newhaven Fort and the harbour - they're can't be many grounds that have a ruddy great ferry appearing on the half way line during a game.

It’s got a lovely sandy beach that has been fenced off by the French company that runs the ferry for 14 years cos they say it isn't safe. There’s rocky pools and secret coves and the place is spacious and stunning with often just camper vans parked up. A neon lit ‘You Imagine What You Desire’ sign with the white cliff backdrop has been erected as part of an art project to face out to the Channel to refugees. If you really lucky you can swim in the sea and not get a mouthful of sewage.

So for Slough another cup run beckons – the 78^th time Slough have entered the FA Cup. We’re never going to win it, but fingers crossed for another magical cup run, starting here today. That's what I imagine and desire, and would seriously be worth some Rebel, Rebel, Boing, Boing bouncing.

* For more FACup Facts than you can shake a cup at head over to https://facupfactfile.co.uk

CROWS ON THE PITCH AND A SLOUGH SOCIAL MEDIA SENSATION

Printed in the National League South game v Taunton Town Tuesday 13th September 2022  We won 1-0 in front of 452

While VAR is doing its best to suck the life out of Premier League football – unbelievable Jeff, his nostril hair was a millimetre offside - in the lower leagues we have far bigger problems to contend with. Grantham’s pitch has been ripped up by crows, trying to get to the chafer beetle grubs that have infested the soil beneath the turf. There is now a CROWfunding appeal to get it fixed. In other news Selsey’s game got done by sewage

Rabbits dug up Andover's pitch at the beginning of a disastrous season they never recovered from. They shipped 100 goals and picked up just 11 points and called it a day at the end of the campaign.

Then there’s the Blackfield keeper was sent off in their FA Cup game last week against Shepton Mallet for urinating in a hedge.

At Bath many of us witnessed a first, when the Rebels had to change into the home teams blue kit after the game had started and we were already one nil down. Still that was the least of our problems as we lost 5-1 with stewards patrolling our every move in case we made some noise. We should have sung ‘Is this a Liberal Democrat constituency’ to the tune of ‘Is this a Library’ but in the end Scotts ‘Biggest Trading Estate in Europe’ flag won out and became a social media sensation. Baths biggest home league attendance since 1972 was bolstered by lots of league fans who pine for simpler footballing times and they loved it. Why Slough Estates can’t see a marketing opportunity and properly sponsor us is anyone's guess.

The last home game against Hampton was like a Jazz ensemble behind the goal. And bobble hats off to the young girls who managed to learn to play ‘Slough Town are Massive’ on a children’s xylophone. We’ve now got a big new robust wheelie bin, that isn’t for putting in rubbish boys and girls but for storing all our kit. So here’s the plan. Raid your children's and grandchildren's toyboxes and bring in musical instruments that we can store in the bin at the club and whip out at home games. Let’s make Arbour Park a musical fortress.

With the World Cup looming and league fans wanting some beer-on-the-terrace action, we need to find ways of getting them to Arbour Park. Infact we need to get anyone with a pulse to Arbour Park as crowds hover frustratingly round the 600 mark. For those who like a deal, I can recommend the £5 pie and a pint in the cafe next to the clubshop. Mind you, I thought I’d stumbled into an old peoples home; maybe we should introduce bingo before the game? (When I did mention this, one groundhopper announced he used to be a Bingo Teller!).

I was collecting these nuggets of info for the club to see how they can increase matchday revenue.

Frustratingly while we are trying to persuade people to buy a few more pies and pints to help with funds, promising defender Edon Pruti went to Brentford B team. While the club don’t want to stand in his way of becoming a professional footballer, it's a bit rum of a self styled community club and near neighbours to only promise cash if reaches the first team.

Still, what do they care. The cost of living never affects those at the top – who tell us to stick on a jumper and mix wood shavings into our mash or put tinfoil down our pants while they dine out on stories about enjoying freezing to death when they were young. Maybe instead of these helpful tips, politicians could have rolled out home insulation and put solar panels on roofs to help cut energy bills. Oh and just maybe, put a stop the energy companies ripping us of. Instead of a windfall tax, the government will help pay peoples bills. Which means everyone will be paying for it in the long term, both financially and climatically.

The big clubs have been on transfer window spending binge that makes your eyes water with Chelsea as usual hoarding players like old people hoard baked beans. Now they’ve asset striped the whole of the Brighton management team – I'm surprised they didn’t take the mascot as well. The top clubs are hoping any football regulations will be now binned by this new government, same as the old government. Because let’s face it they really don’t need regulation. I mean in news just this week, West Ham are being sponsored by a Russian sanctions-busting pyramid scheme, another by a crypto casino which preys on addicts, and a third signed a deal with a non-existent firm.

Reading the derogatory comments about Slough from our Biggest Trading Estate in Europe flags new found fame, could we harness all this hot air to warm our pies? Or what about putting in compost toilets using the waste to make electricity to power our floodlights? That would be a football first and we could add it to the Slough did-it-first list. MarsBars, zebra crossings, Thunderbirds, wheelie bins and of course looking up at the stars and discovering Uranus. No doubt we could then make a song about it and stick it on a flag. 

Slough Town - powered by poo.

MORE IN HOPE THAN GLORY

Published in the National League South game v Hampton and Richmond Borough Saturday 3rd September 2022  We won 2-1 with a 91st minute goal in front of 673

One day, maybe, I will write memoirs of a community pub. So much to celebrate, but also a chance to spill the beans after years of getting it in the ear while not being able to give our version of events.

Maybe that’s why I really enjoyed the behind the scenes, warts-and-all book by Chris Dunphy’s ‘More in Hope than Glory.’ From a young boy who used to walk 4 miles to the ground to becoming chairman leading the club to their most successful period in their history.

‘More than 55 years later, I can still feel the excitement that I felt at those early games….the crowd singing, the feeling of camaraderie, the sheer exuberance of being at Spotland watching football with my mates.’ His first season Rochdale went on a League Cup run that took them to the final and Dunphy was hooked for life.

Dunphy spent over 30 years as a director and the Chairman - ‘it has seen me through births, deaths and even a couple of marriages!’

‘So how did I get involved with the running of the club and why? In 1980, I was very firmly of the opinion that I could help the club survive, though if I am honest with myself, I now realise that this my have been a slightly arrogant attitude but I was much younger then and invincible!

‘If I had fully investigated what was involved and had given it deep, considered thought – as any person with business experience should have done – I would have realised it was a near-impossible task.

‘When you look at the grim facts of the situation, average attendance at the club had dropped from between seven and eight thousand at the beginning of the seventies, down to around one thousand in less than a decade. The state of the ground was abysmal, the standard of football was poor, and most of the town didn’t really care whether the club survived or not.

‘We had been in the bottom division for so long, it was sometimes cruelly referred to as ‘The Rochdale League.’

Dunphy wasn’t wealthy – his company installed heating systems in churches but over time, he transformed the way the club was run; the facilities, the community feel – trying to make the town it represented feel proud of its club. He helped bring ownership of the ground back and the local pub. In his time they won two promotions, got to Wembley in a play off final and drew with Spurs in an FA Cup 5th round game. He balanced the books and made the club sustainable. ‘In December 2009, we went top of the league and the fans on the terraces were singing, ‘Top of the league and paying our bills’ and to me at the time you couldn’t have had a better chant. I knew I had got my message across. We were Team Rochdale, we would succeed.’

The book isn’t full of match facts and only focuses on one season which just happens to be the one where Rochdale came and knocked Slough out of the FA Cup 2nd round 4-0 on a Monday night in front of the cameras. The same cup run when they played Millwall on a pitch that was more sand than grass, which isn’t surprising after volunteers had filed in thousands of holes with sand. This led to Spurs visiting and Dale getting a replay, played in the snow at Tottenham's temporary Wembley ground.

The book echoes what you hear from Accrington Stanley chairman Andy Holt, who has also transformed a small club into one holding its own in League One. But just like Holt, Dunphy spells out just what has happened to football finances

“When I first joined the club back in 1980, there was only a small financial gap separating the three lower divisions with a slightly larger gap to the top division. As finances were relatively similar in the lower divisions, it was possible for clubs like Carlisle United and Northampton Town to be able to rise up to play football at the highest levels without it breaking the bank. However, as the years went by and stakes became higher, the finances of football changed forever and when the Premier League was formed back in 1992, the gap between the divisions began to grow and this continues to get ever larger, season on season.’

Meanwhile Dunphy had slowly been building Team Rochdale. Their success was down to hard work and – and as with every football game, a little bit of luck – luck which no football fan would surely ever resent the supporters of leagues most unsuccessful club - well maybe apart from Bury fans.

And was it worth it? All that time and effort. After they finally won promotion he headed to the pub. ‘ITS DUNPHY!’ I have never had a feeling like that in my life. Everyone wanted to hug me, kiss me or at the very least buy me a drink. One supporter even offered me his wife for the night! It was day full of ‘money can’t buy’ moments. Highs do not come any higher than this. This was promotion. Fans doing a conga looking for me. We had just finished our most successful season in nearly forty years, we were very nearly solvent, we had changed the image of the club from ‘lowly’ to ‘ambitious’. It truly was Team Rochdale.’

But as in life, best laid plans can unravel. One director was banned from football for nearly a year, another died and slowly there are less allies and Dunphy found himself being edged out, till he announced his retirement without any real fanfare from the club. Maybe that is the end game for most of us who get involved in our community.

People love nothing more than a moan. To blame someone else. To say they could do it better nursing a pint but without ever sticking their head above the parapet. Chris Dunphy thought he could do it better – and he did.

But every Rochdale supporter secretly dreads that if they ever lost their league status, it could for all intents and purpose mean the end of league football in the town forever. They are currently bottom of the Football League pile this season with just a point. While their arch rivals, Bury, renamed the Bucketshakers were thrown out of the league some seasons earlier with their ground currently sitting idle.

We were promised root and branch reform of football – but with this government in turmoil, is that now going to happen? Football clubs, run properly, are the beating hearts of communities no matter what league they play in. Chris Dunphy can hold his head up high “The future of football is uncertain, and I fear for the survival of the game in the lower leagues. Directors must always remember that they might own the shares and the property but the club will always belong to the supporters.’

* More in Hope than Glory is published by Austin Macauley 2022