A TASTE OF SLOUGH

 

To be printed in the National League South game v AFC Totton Tuesday 25th November 2025

I decided to pop up a little bit earlier before last Tuesdays game against Farnborough. I said hello to a spruced up Station Jim offering him a ghost dog biscuit, then headed to the far end of the High Street for some food. Apart from the biggest Gregg's I’ve ever seen there is a wealth of culinary delights with restaurants dishing up food from Somalia, Afghanistan, Iraq, Africa, India and more. In the end I went boring and had a halloumi wrap. I was presented with a small bowl of free lentil soup then a big wrap for a fiver. I grow food but I’m no foodie. I’m vegetarian, but so often the food I can have is limited and uninspiring. No sorry, I don’t want the cous-cous aubergine surprise. But this hit the spot at very decent prices.

Running short of time I popped into one of the last pubs standing - the Alpha Arms. Now my dad lived a good number of years in Alpha Street and let’s just say he helped that tiny back street pub stay financially viable. So was it a co-incidence it closed when he moved out? Amazingly it did reopen and tripled in size with some love given to the big garden – a decent green space just off the high street. It’s a lovely old building in one of Slough first streets (the clues in the name Alpha) but the houses at the top are shabby, the new builds where the Floral Arms once stood, look like the same faceless rabbit hutches that blight England. They closed the bottom half of the high street to traffic which was a good thing, but unfortunately routed it through residential streets including Alpha Street, which was a bad thing. Now I like a good bin, but im not sure the collection outside the Alpha enhances its architectural charm and doesn’t scream ‘come on in’ hospitality to me. With the Herschel Arms gone, its more of an Irish pub than ever but the Guinness wasn’t poured with the love it deserves, and the music occasionally blasting the small number of drinkers stopping their conversation flowing. I supped up and headed in a cab to the ground.

Whenever I've arrived earlier at Arbour Park its been a hive of activity. This time was no different, with youngsters playing on the pitches. On Tuesdays alone there’s Under 8’s, Under 9’s, two Under 10’s Boys only 6-8 years old, Wildcats which is girls 5-11 and teen disability 12-18 years old.

So when our seniors men's teams form dips, I remind myself that all this community activity, shows how the club is run the right way and is in good hands. And while the first team fanbase doesn’t represent the towns ethnicity and crowds have fallen this season, this was a different matter. It was like the United Nations with all different cultures meeting and greeting each other.

I’m not into segregation; it defeats one of the main reasons for supporting lower league football, mingling and chatting with away supporters. But with apparently Worthing requesting it and after the unsavoury incidents at Gloucester – which could have so easily been nipped in the bud if it was better managed – it was in place again Saturday. Chatting to some of the Worthing supporters after, their club are going to be dealing with some of the youngsters who’ve attached themselves to their club. We can deal with our Scrappy Doo’s and others need to do the same before the collective punishment of segregation because of a few idiots, becomes the norm in our league.

Slough finally got a deserved 3 points, but the crowd was sparse even for a Tuesday. Despite that, despite our league position, the building blocks for a successful football club are all there.

I can’t make tonight as i'm heading up to Slough the following day for a BBC Breakfast FA Cup special in the Wheatsheaf. This is the sort of publicity a cup run brings and something marketing whizz-kids can only dream of. They wanted me to go to the Office roundabout but I pointed out it that might be tricky as its now a dual carriageway. Infact the only thing standing from the sit-coms intro is the Slough Trading Estate sign, which as we all know is the biggest trading estate in Europe. (Quiet, Spreadsheet Stu). Things have moved so fast in the world of work, could you even make the Office now? It would just be an engineer wandering lonely round a vast Data Centre doing zoom calls to people in pyjamas, who only leave the house to go to the gym. Which is why its so important places like pubs and football are protected, places where you can turn off those screens, and meet other human beings and have a laugh. See you at Dover!

TROY OF THE ROVERS

 

Printed in the National League South game v Worthing Saturday November 2025  We lost 2-1 in front of 692

‘It is a fairytale; you can’t even dream about something like that. I have no words to describe the emotions right now.’

When Troy Parrott poked in that last minute goal to send the Republic of Ireland into the World Cup qualifiers there was chaos on the pitch, in the stands and anywhere else Irish fans happened to be. The following night Scotland scored two injury time goals to qualify with the same scenes of joy. This is what football is all about, this is why we love the game. And yet these fairytale's are under threat like never before.

People in power rarely like to give it up and always come up with

1. Excuses.

2. Warnings that any changes to the status quo will bring about Armageddon.

3. Threats to keep the status quo (If you’re unlucky enough to live in some of the countries Premier League owners represent those threats include torture, imprisonment and death).

Salary cap? See you to court.

Make the league fairer? Well wave goodbye to best players who just won’t come here if they can’t get £100,000 plus a week (I know I wouldn’t get out of bed for that either).

Three promotion places to the football league – hold those slay bells think us Turkeys are going to vote for Christmas?

FA Cup replays – come on, we’ve given you the National League Cup where you get to play Premier Under 21 teams. What more do you want?

Financially stable football clubs? Don’t be such a wet sponge.

There’s no doubt the new football regulator is going to have a fight on their hands trying to even things up. There’s already lots of ‘See you in court’ as clubs, agents and players unions argue its not fair and against competition law (unless of course you’re Manchester City whose 115 charges of breaking the rules rumble on and on). Which is ironic really as the idea of stopping some clubs spending the same amount as a small European countries total GDP is about bringing more competition to football. To try and sprinkle it with magic rather than drown it in pounds, shillings and pence.

On David v Goliath FA Cup games we are always reminded that the English Football pyramid is the envy of the world - but do everything it seems to knee cap any clubs who want to do a Wimbledon and go from non league to Premier league.

So let’s talk about AFC Wimbledon, who it should be remembered started near the bottom of the pyramid pile after MK Dons were allowed to nick their league place and moved to a town full of roundabouts. Fan owned, they are doing well in Division One and financed a new ground next to their old Plough Lane. But now they are looking for investors who support their ethos as they just cannot compete with the riches of others. Clubs in League One are losing on average £5.2 million a year. In League Two its £2.2 million. Those loses are not an option for a supporters run club.

Even small asks like 3UP to the English Football League have been in limbo for years. So last week the National League upped the ante with games kicking off at 3.03 with more protests promised. Just two promotion spots has created a bottle neck that has filtered down to the north and south divisions – pushing finances to the limit just to try and compete. 12 clubs in our league are full time. For basically Division 6 South. That’s insane. How do clubs afford to compete without a sugar daddy? Do we really want our community clubs in the hands of one person? This basically means if you run your club sustainable and sensibly it could well end up in relegation tears.

No club that's ever been promoted from the National League has come straight back down while the majority that have been relegated into it have failed to bounce back straight away. Ironically those current Turkeys - if they ever find themselves in what Sutton United supporters dubbed the Bastard League - will find promotion much easier with 3 places.

The jump up to the National League is as brutal as the Championship to the Premier League. So let’s see if the new Independent Football Regulator can knock some sense into footballs wild west finances, and that it’s on the pitch not just how much you have in your pocket that occasionally wins you games.

That football fairy dust isn’t so sparkly when the same old clubs keep winning. But don’t expect those in power to play nicely or go down without a fight if anyone dares try and even things up.

A SLOUGH TOWN CONUNDRUM

printed in the National League South game v Farnborough Tuesday 18th November 2025  We won 2-0 in front of 433

Photo by Scott McNeish

So a first ever visit to Horsham’s new ground – or to give its full title: The Fusion Aviation Community Stadium. Slough had played Horsham plenty of times before but that was at their old Queen Street ground. Bang smack in the middle of town where all football clubs should be. But the place which had its charm, was falling to bits and they finally left in 2008 for a nomadic existence that lasted 11 long years.

Now Horsham is a very well to do place. The sort of place that looks down their noses at football with local residents and councillors throwing up all kinds of obstacles and excuses to block a new football stadium.

The irony of this wasn’t lost on one supporter – if it were new houses or to knock down an old building it would get the nod from planning. In fact the town is expanding at such a rate it might be married to Crawley soon, which are two starkly different places. Think Slough and Windsor.

The first pub I went into was far too posh for the likes of Slough so I headed to the Car Max which sounded like some dodgy car wash but has origins from the mists of time. For centuries people drove livestock to sell, meeting with traders along other tracks; the Carfax began as a clearing around the junction of these tracks. Over time it developed into a thriving market; a focal point for people to meet – be it for food, drink, entertainment, commemoration and of course public punishment and execution. I was thirsty after learning about all this and found The Stout House a bit more suitable for the Rebel Rabble.

The bustling market town centre is in stark contrast to Slough which has won another of those awards – this time most unhealthiest high streets in the UK. I think this one is unwarranted with plenty of amazing food to be scoffed. The relentless rise of online shopping and out of town supermarkets means high streets have to reinvent themselves or die – you need to become a destination to attract people, and Slough High Street definitely ain’t that. But the thing is with a bit of imagination you could transform the place – playing to its melting-pot-of-people strengths, with cheap stalls offering up food from around the world, it could become a magnet. Far fetched? Broadway Market in Hackney was on its knees and although gentrification has caused major upheavals by greedy property  developers it is a thriving, trendy go-to place on a Saturday. Brighton Open Market in one of the less trendy places offers cheap stalls, making it affordable to small traders, which alongside the butchers, bakers, cafes and fruit stalls means its the place to head to on a Saturday.

As we supped our beer and Deano told tales of European tours with Manchester United, Alan the Shirt Brown told of how he managed to hurt himself doing first aid training. Which is impressive. Like being run over in a hospital carpark. Deano also left us with this riddle. ‘Would you rather Slough get to the fourth round of the FA Cup but get relegated.’

The only problem with Horsham's new ground is its miles out of town. Like park and ride miles out. So we managed to get a seven seater taxi. The ground has a lot of character for a new venue, and is surrounded by trees. But another stadium with no musical instruments because, well to do neighbours have already complained about the sound of bouncing balls, shouting, and whistles. I really hope a group of woodpeckers set up in a tree near their houses and drum their heads on the trunks looking for insects.

I also really like the clubs honesty spelt out in a series of articles about how the club is run. Chairman Kevin Borrett wrote “In 2017-18, Horsham’s turnover was around £117,000. This season it’s projected to exceed £1.2 million – a tenfold increase in less than a decade. The problem is, we haven’t suddenly gained the staff or the money that people expect to help counteract that kind of rapid growth.”

“People see a packed stadium and automatically assume we must be raking it in, says Development Director Matt Ide. The trust is, the costs of competing at the previous level were difficult enough, but at the level we’re at now, with increased travel costs, wages, security and maintenance for example. Every penny we make goes straight back into keeping the club alive in an attempt to make it a sustainable business and community asset, but it’s not easy."

"The easy route would be to find a wealthy investor and hand over control, says Commercial Director Sam Borrett. "But that's never been Horsham's aim or intended direction. That ethos means doing more with less, but it also means something deeper ; the club belongs to the town. Every pint poured, every shirt bought, every ticket sold keeps the lights on and the dream alive. We know there are still rough edges, but they are growing pains of a club that has outgrown its skin faster than anyone expected. Horsham FC's success isn't an accident, it's the product of thousands of hours of hard work by some truly dedicated people. "

We left Horsham impressed with what they’ve achieved but pointless. Our fifth straight league defeat. On the way home I couldn’t stop thinking about Deanos conundrum. ‘4th Round of the FA Cup but relegation. What would you choose?’ Answers on a postcard.

INSECT-AGEDDON

 

Printed in the FA Trophy 2nd Round Proper Saturday 15th November 2025  We drew 1-1 but lost 4-3 on penalties in front of 523

Like Dr.Foster I went to Gloucester in a shower of rain. It was a couple of seasons back and the only time I’ve been to their ground; but it wasn’t to see them take on Slough but to see us play Truro City who had camped up there – a mere four hours from their Cornish home. As the west county was soaked from the endless rain and pitches became more suited for water polo, Truro had no choice but to make the long journey while their new ground was being built.

Gloucester City’s ground had only been built in 1986 on the banks of the River Severn but suffered two catastrophic floods, making the place uninsurable. When mass flooding again hit the West of England in 2007, the pitch was submerged under eight feet of water, with the rain reaching almost as high as the crossbar. As well as the playing surface, the stands, clubhouse, kitchen facilities, changing rooms and shop were all swamped. It forced the club to abandon ship and play home matches in four different grounds over a ten-year period. They then finally got planning permission to rebuild and to prevent it flooding again, raise the level of the place. It was a drastic measure but it worked. Former co-chairman Alex Petheram said "We had to bring the ground up around four metres across the whole site. Then we put protective bunds in around the River Severn and raised all the levels. If this floods now we'll need an ark as the whole of Gloucestershire will be under water."

I was pondering all this and how our changing climate and more unstable weather patterns are going to challenge many clubs in the future. Then I came across a piece of brilliant journalism by Tess McClure.

She tells the story of Daniel Janzen. ‘Nearly half a century ago, the young ecologist had been out documenting fruit crops in the Costa Rican rainforest when he fell into a ravine shattering his ribcage. Slowly, he dragged himself out, crawling nearly two miles back to the research hut. There were no neighbours, roads, and no way of getting to a hospital.

‘Selecting a rocking chair on the porch, Janzen used a bedsheet to strap his torso tightly to the frame. For a month, he sat, barely moving, waiting for his bones to knit back together. And he watched.

‘In front of him was a world seething with life. Every branch of every tree was seemed to host its own small metropolis of creatures hunting, flying, crawling, eating. But the real show was at night: for two hours each evening, the site got power and a 25-watt bulb flickered on above the porch. Out of the forest darkness, a tornado of insects would flock to its glow, spinning and dancing before the light. Lit up, the side of the house would be “absolutely plastered with moths – tens of thousands of them”, Janzen says.

‘Inspired, he decided to erect a sheet for a light trap with a camera – a common way to document flying insect numbers and species. In that first photograph, taken in 1978, the lit-up sheet is so thickly studded with moths that in places the fabric was barely visible, transformed into what looks like crawling wallpaper.’

Fast forward nearly 50 years and something dramatic has changed. Daniel Janzen still works at the same station at Costa Rica with his wife. But the trees that once crawled with insects lie still. He repeats his light traps, hanging the sheet, watching for what comes. “It’s the same sheet, with the same lights, in the same place, looking over the same vegetation. Same time of year, same time of the moon cycle, everything about it is identical,” he says. “There’s just no moths on that sheet.”

‘The declines witnessed by Janzen are part of what some are calling a new era of ecological collapse, where rapid extinctions occur in places that have little direct contact with people. And when you have “insectageddon” then there will be sharp declines in birds, lizards and other creatures that depend on them for food, with some bird populations halved in half a century.

‘So how can places largely untouched by the human hand see such a decline in numbers? A tropical forest ecosystem is “a finely tuned Swiss watch”, with each element delicately tuned to interlock with the rest. And now, the system has one gear spinning wildly out of time: the climate. “When I arrived here in 1963 the dry season was four months. Today, it is six months,” Janzen says. Insects that typically spend four months underground, waiting for the rains, are now forced to try to survive another two months of hot, dry weather. Many are not succeeding.’

I’m generally an optimist, but this tale really made me stop and think. You might worry about small boats more than the extinction of half the worlds species which is not surprising really, when these issues hardly ever get told. But shouldn’t we be worrying more about these bigger threats? And is raising our football grounds and towns up on stilts really an option that we will be able to afford?

Behind one of the stands at Gloucester City you can see the old abandoned terraces, caked in mud and debris, like some apocalyptic architectural ruin. A potent picture of what is to come elsewhere if we don’t take action now?

SLOUGH TOWNS DREAMING

Printed in the National League South game v Bath City Tuesday 3rd November 2025  We lost 3-2 in front of 451

There were tears of joy from some of our supporters as the final whistle blew on Saturday. Little old Slough had done it again – comprehensively beating a higher league side and into the second round for the ninth time ever. As I clinked glasses with co-owner Ash I said how he and the board deserved this for all the work they put in behind the scenes.

I arrived in Slough Friday night after spending the previous days in Liverpool with my family visiting our eldest now at University. Liverpool is a place I hadn’t visited since 1995 when I joined the picket lines to support the dockers They had been sacked en masse for refusing to cross a picket line and refusing to work for worse pay and conditions. Unfortunately I also got arrested for walking down the street later that afternoon by the riot police. This did mean – as the court case rumbled on - I visited Liverpool and got to know the people who I found to be kind, friendly and funny. Younger striking dockers used to visit Brighton to tell their stories and galvanise support, and lets just say they always received a warm welcome.

The Dock Strike became even more pertinent to us as one of our friends had been sent to Shoreham docks by the Job Centre. Sent with no training, doing one of the most dangerous jobs in the country he was killed on his first day – decapitated by a chain that wasn’t properly secured. We went to the funeral and seeing his heart broken parents we vowed to fight for justice for their son.

Having lunch on the rejuvenated Albert Docks. Eating halloumi off a piece of wood rather than a plate. I wonder what former dockers would have thought about all this? And should i go and have a peek at Everton's impressive looking new ground? No thanks, instead I jumped on a bus to go and find South Liverpools ground.

South Liverpool had a rich history and hoped to compete with the city's other league clubs at one time – but like so many, their attempts to get voted into the league were thwarted by a closed shop. They still managed some memorable moments, like persuading the famous Hungarian striker and one of the worlds best ever players Puskás to play at the ground for a charity match, while John Aldridge and Jimmy Case played for them before signing for Liverpool.

When their clubhouse got burnt down they finally gave up the ghost and the club was no more. The club's historic ground, Holly Park, is now the location of the Liverpool South Parkway railway station.

However, some determined people decided they weren't giving up and resurrected the team, playing their games at North Field in the Liverpool County Combination League. You can still see the railings, dug outs and a container with the faded club lettering on it. Then in 2019 they moved into Jericho Lane a modern facility on a site that was developed in partnership with Liverpool City Council and the Football Association. They were promoted to the North West Counties League in season 2021/22 returning to the National League System after a 30 year gap. South Liverpool's new ground won't win any architectural awards, but its supporters who never gave up certainly deserve to win some for their perseverance.

The next day I decided to visit my mates Brian's pub. Well not, his, its community owned – like over 200 others across the country. The Lock and Quay is a pub that is part of the safe regeneration project which packs a serious punch in one of the poorest areas of the country. Safe Regeneration are involved in everything from housing to business support and training to helping people start their own companies. The pub was bought back to life in 2016. It brews its own beer, hosts its own music festivals, has a paddle club, even cheese and wine nights; puts on children's activities – there was a Halloween party going on under a massive marquee in the garden when I was there – and so much more. With every penny raised going back into making Bootle a better place.

And finally, as i waited for my train home it felt fitting to have a last pint with my eldest in the CASA Club – a place that is charitable trust set up by the dockers during the strike. A packed Friday night, the club is in the middle of town with walls plastered with trade union history. As well as the bar, it has a spacious hall used from everything from theatre to weddings and an advice centre supporting some of the most marginalised people.

I left Liverpool full to the brim of these amazing projects and people and ready for Sloughs biggest game of the season. The build up and the game and then the after party with a Madness cover band, didn’t disappoint and once again the FA Cup is sprinkling its magic.

I count Slough Town as one of those amazing organisations making a massive difference to their communities. Its like an unstoppable juggernaut with so many fingers in so many pies. Its easy to forget that it’s just 9 years since we moved to Arbour Park, after being a homeless basket case for 14 long years. I think this FA Cup journey with all its rich rewards – not just money in the bank, but memories and exposure – will help turbo charge the club and help support its ambitions not just on the pitch but off it.

A massive shot in the arm financially and who knows what next to get Slough Town dreaming. That’s definitely worth shedding a tear or two for.