HISTORIC RIVALS

To be printed in the Berks and Bucks Cup semi final v Wycombe Wanderers Tuesday 24th March 2026

It was the 23rd March 1993. Wycombe Wanderers v Slough Town. A pivotal, high stakes encounter at Adam Parks; Sloughs last chance to challenge for the Conference National title.

I joined the regulars from the Wheatsheaf Pub which has always been full of Slough supporters up for travelling to the big games on unofficial coaches. The problem was getting people to leave the place – ‘come on, just one more pint’ – and so we inevitably always arrived late full of beer and full bladders. Usually that wasn’t a problem, but at Wycombe the ground was also full to bursting. A few of us more nimble ones jumped over the fence to watch the game while the less gymnastic watched from the hill side. The official attendance was 7,230 but unofficially it was a lot more and the record Conference crowd for many years. Slough lost by just one goal and Wycombe went on to win the Conference and promotion for the first ever time to the Football League.

That was 33 years ago. We eventually finished 5th. And that was the best it was ever going to get for the Rebels while Wycombe marched on and our oldest, bitterest rivals waved us goodbye. The two clubs have certainty been on different paths ever since, the blues reaching the Championship while we very nearly ended up in the dog and duck. We are still 4 leagues apart but at one point it was seven. To all intents and purposes the regular battles with Wycombe were over.

The following season we were relegated. We did bounce back at the first attempt and would spend another 3 seasons in the Conference, until despite finishing 8th we were unceremoniously dumped out of the league because it was said at the time we didn’t have enough seats in the ground. The owners didn’t want to invest but there was more to it it than that, and the club was in a right financial mess. Personally I always blamed the suspect tea hut. I mean, who drinks tea from a place next to a blokes urinals?

Soon it was the Rebels that started doing the wandering. Losing Wexham Park and groundsharing at Windsor then Beaconsfield for 14 years. The very survival of the club was in the balance as we went on an extended tour of market towns and villages; with our opposition seeming to take great joy in our demise while still happy to take the cash from our travelling fans, who despite the endless gloom kept the faith. Maidenhead were suddenly a bigger club and I don’t want to be disrespectful but when Burnham, Windsor and Beaconsfield and a host of other local teams are constantly putting one over you, well you can’t help daydream about days like that packed Tuesday night at Wycombe. Those teams might have been near neighbours but those games weren’t a touch on what we had against Wycombe. Worse, teams like Beaconsfield even defeated us in the play-offs at one point, fuelled by our rent and beer money. Like your mate running off with your wife after you move in temporarily with them while you’re waiting, praying for a place back home.

Slough have been playing Wycombe since 1901 a total of 153 times. But the rivalry really built in the 1970’s to the 1990s. Over 6,000 came to both of the FA Cup 1st round tie games, with the Rebels winning in the replay at the Dolphin Stadium and we challenged each other in the Isthmian and Conference leagues with games often on Boxing Day.

Moving away from their old fashioned slopping pitch at Loakes Park was a statement of intent for the club, and I remember their visiting supporters comparing the new Wexham Park to a farmyard. So what will they make of Arbour Park? Not that they will bother sending their first team. But for those of us old enough to remember this fixture, this means a lot and we really want some bragging rights, even if some of their younger and newer supporters don’t really pay much attention to little old Slough these days. I certainty always keep an eye out for their results and when I watch the English Football League highlights on a Sunday morning my coffee always tastes sweeter when they’ve lost.

AN ELEPHANT ON THE PITCH

 

Printed in the National League South game v Salisbury Saturday 14th March 2026  We drew 3-3 with a last minute wonder strike in front of 1181

As its community day I was going to start by talking about the time there was a penalty shoot out against an elephant – but let’s begin with Hornchurch.

One of those special away days that will live long in the memory (unlike the 30 stops on the tube to get there). Hornchurch like Slough are seriously punching above their weight. Yes they are another one of those full team teams in our league, but second is some feat. Like Chelmsford they play at an athletics stadium and you can only access three sides of the ground; infact the bar is so far away I had to order a taxi at half time to get there. And half the crowd didn’t even bother, sunning themselves with a beer on the big open terrace that overlooks the place. But it’s much more personable than Chelmsford; more character, friendlier, higgledy-piggledy. As the large Slough contingent gathered on various gantry's usually used for watching long-jump, we were treated to a first half masterclass of fast, attacking football. 2-0 to the Rebels at half time. The beers flowed (with every 5 returned cups, you got one beer free – they should definitely look at introducing deposit cups to Arbour Park). Then the bin juices flowed as Slough came under sustained second half pressure as Hornchurch eventually draw level. And then….a last gasp winner to turn the Rebel Army into a limb factory. What we’ve achieved since Christmas is remarkable, even more so with a patched up squad. Afterwards Scott Davies said ‘We can’t go shopping in Waitrose, we’re shopping in Lidl or Aldi’. That might be the case, but blimey the club know how to shop around for bargains.

If our scouting system deserves a medal, then so does our community activities. There is so much brilliant stuff that the club does it’s hard to keep up – and now there will be even more thanks to funding from the National League Trust. There will be a relaunch of the football programme for children with disabilities, blind and visually impaired football, sessions for people living with Parkinson's, dementia and other neurological conditions; recreational football for women and girls of all ages and abilities and Extra Time Hub, supporting older people through non football activities. They hope to run these all year round and they will all be free.

The club are also at the heart of Sloughs bid to be a UK Town of Culture which has led as you would expect to plenty of digs on social media. But not so long ago, our football club was a homeless basket-case, with some people telling us to knock it on the head. Now look at us! Surely it can’t do any harm to get people together to plan and dream? The club commercial director Steve Doyle has unsurprisingly been invited to join the steering group. He said “Our Club has always been at the heart of our community, bringing people together across generations and backgrounds through sport, shared passion, and local pride. This bid is a fantastic opportunity to showcase the creativity, energy, and cultural diversity that make Slough special—far beyond outdated stereotypes. I’m excited to help contribute the club’s perspective, build stronger community connections, and play a part in telling a confident, forward-looking story for the town.”

They are looking for your ideas. Here’s some of mine

Introduce a tram system similar to Croydon. Slough is constantly gridlocked, unsurprisingly really when every household seems to have at least two cars.

There are so many different places to eat from all over the world in the High Street. Play to those strengths. Build a food hall, with dirt cheap pitches for those that want to get their businesses off the ground. And of course a new pub or two.

Not a lot of people know that Slough is blessed with over 254 acres of parkland. Make these people and wildlife corridors that are loved and cherished where people want to use all the time.

But back to those elephants. It was way back in 1900. A penalty shoot out with our vice captain at the time George Werrell. A goalkeeper who made 257 appearance from 1897 to 1914. He managed to score one penalty but the Elephant saved the other two! Unfortunately for the elephant, Werrell saved all three of the animals kicks and won a goblet that he displayed in his hairdressers shop in the High Street. Let’s see if our community manager Ade can top that.

* You've got till 31st March to put your ideas forward about Sloughs Town of Culture bid.

SURREAL FOOTBALL

Printed in the National League South game v Hampton and Richmond Borough Tuesday 10th March 2026  We lost 3-1 in front of 511

Photos by Scott McNeish

Some games are dull, some are nail biting, some you forget as soon as the final whistle goes but some games are...well, just a bit surreal.

Away to AFC Totton on a Tuesday night. I’d been there before, but that was their last season in their old ground when we had been put in the Southern League South and West after relegation. Totton finished third and we finished way behind Windsor, Beaconsfield, Uxbridge, Burnham and Village with-one-bus-stop United, coming in at number 16. The following season we got shoved in the Midlands section. It was heady days for Slough supporters if you liked visiting new places, but not so good if you liked seeing us win football matches.

So The Snows Stadium was a new ground for me. They had been here since 2010 and had powered up the leagues, this being their first one in the National League South. Be rude not too. The coast train Brighton to Southampton then a short hop to the small town of Totton, with a population just under 29,000 and a train station ticket office that is staffed 5am till 10am. If that doesn’t shout commuter town then nothing will. Surprisingly, there are two teams in Totton - their grounds only one wayward shot apart but they are friendly neighbours working very closely together. AFC are also friendly with Southampton whose women's team play there.

But hang on. I was expecting Mrs. Miggins tea shops and New Forest ponies but was instead was served up a scrubbed up version of Slough. I know it was 17 years ago since my last visit, so my mind might have been playing tricks but I’m sure their old place felt more rural?

Instead of a country boozer we ended up parking at a nearby industrial estate and headed to one of those places that is neither restaurant or pub, but did do veggie sausage, mash and gravy. Me and Gaz the Sandwich had dinner with The Turnstile boys with their respective wife's Clubshop Sue and Lynn. We even got a blue tick discount. Or maybe it was Blue Badge. It was definitely something blue.

The turnstiles weren’t open so you had to enter through the plush clubshop - like an airport lounge where you a tempted with all that duty free and perfume before you board the plane. I stupidly hadn’t bought a cheaper ticket online beforehand so was stuck behind someone who wanted a key ring and some Totton spring water and seemed to be paying in half pence pieces. Hurry up mate, im going to miss happy hour. The friendly bar staff made sure we didn’t miss out on the beer bargains as we trundled out to….well look I don’t want to be rude but the ground seemed like it had taken its architectural inspiration from the Southampton shipping containers.

A Tuesday night that felt like spring after the endless rain that had wiped out so much lower league football, with some teams needing to play three times a night to catch up. And just as well it wasn’t raining as there was no cover unless you wanted a seat. But what’s that? A doughnut and candy floss stall, that’s a tick. All we needed now was a ride on the Waltzer. Mind you, one of our youngsters munched through a dry packet of chocolate Craze throughout the game instead. Surreal or Cereal? We were spaced out on terracing in the first half that made Arbour Park seem spacious. The pitch was heavy, no surprise with all that rain but according to a certain kit man smelt of manure. We did come through a kissing gate to get here, so maybe there was some nearby farms. We bought out some old classics like ‘xylophone on your head’ but this was a tambourine, because well the xylophone has seriously seen better days, just like some of the Slough supporters.

The crowd was announced as 1,236, but I’m not sure where they were, maybe hiding in a shipping container? Everyone huffed and puffed and we finally got an equaliser and held on for another important point. Just like Dover didn’t deserve a point at Arbour Park, I’m not sure we really did, buy hey that’s football. Although when it comes to the games against Dover this season, I’m not sure football is an apt description. The first game was played on a pitch that would be better suited to mud wrestling, the home game was also like a battle ground with Slough players the casualties.

Getting back from Bath to Brighton on a Tuesday night involves sleeping in a ditch for the evening so I missed it along with our first class keeper who had got a better offer of full time football and was off. I don’t blame him, but blimey I was worried as I tuned into Rebels Radio. The commentators Gary Unruly Beard and Finnan (part of the McNeish media mafia) reported that not much was going on as the chat descended into famous names who’ve lived in Slough and owners who cut off their managers heads if they lose two games on the trot. Oh and guess the crowd, which is kind of hard when you’re listening on the radio. And then we nicked 3 points thanks to a goal from you-know-who. At least no ones poached him from us yet. As now seems football supporters tradition the Bath supporters booed their team off while our 50 ecstatic fans jumped for joy as we edged ever closer to safety in the National League South for another season. That’s definitely worth celebrating with a doughnut and a pint.