AN ELEPHANT ON THE PITCH

 

To be printed in the National League South game v Salisbury Saturday 14th March 2026

As its community day I was going to start by talking about the time there was a penalty shoot out against an elephant – but let’s begin with Hornchurch.

One of those special away days that will live long in the memory (unlike the 30 stops on the tube to get there). Hornchurch like Slough are seriously punching above their weight. Yes they are another one of those full team teams in our league, but second is some feat. Like Chelmsford they play at an athletics stadium and you can only access three sides of the ground; infact the bar is so far away I had to order a taxi at half time to get there. And half the crowd didn’t even bother, sunning themselves with a beer on the big open terrace that overlooks the place. But it’s much more personable than Chelmsford; more character, friendlier, higgledy-piggledy. As the large Slough contingent gathered on various gantry's usually used for watching long-jump, we were treated to a first half masterclass of fast, attacking football. 2-0 to the Rebels at half time. The beers flowed (with every 5 returned cups, you got one beer free – they should definitely look at introducing deposit cups to Arbour Park). Then the bin juices flowed as Slough came under sustained second half pressure as Hornchurch eventually draw level. And then….a last gasp winner to turn the Rebel Army into a limb factory. What we’ve achieved since Christmas is remarkable, even more so with a patched up squad. Afterwards Scott Davies said ‘We can’t go shopping in Waitrose, we’re shopping in Lidl or Aldi’. That might be the case, but blimey the club know how to shop around for bargains.

If our scouting system deserves a medal, then so does our community activities. There is so much brilliant stuff that the club does it’s hard to keep up – and now there will be even more thanks to funding from the National League Trust. There will be a relaunch of the football programme for children with disabilities, blind and visually impaired football, sessions for people living with Parkinson's, dementia and other neurological conditions; recreational football for women and girls of all ages and abilities and Extra Time Hub, supporting older people through non football activities. They hope to run these all year round and they will all be free.

The club are also at the heart of Sloughs bid to be a UK Town of Culture which has led as you would expect to plenty of digs on social media. But not so long ago, our football club was a homeless basket-case, with some people telling us to knock it on the head. Now look at us? Surely it can’t do any harm to get people together to plan and dream? The clubs commercial director Steve Doyle has unsurprisingly been invited to join the steering group. He said “Our Club has always been at the heart of our community, bringing people together across generations and backgrounds through sport, shared passion, and local pride. This bid is a fantastic opportunity to showcase the creativity, energy, and cultural diversity that make Slough special—far beyond outdated stereotypes. I’m excited to help contribute the club’s perspective, build stronger community connections, and play a part in telling a confident, forward-looking story for the town.”

They are looking for your ideas. Here’s some of mine

Introduce a tram system similar to Croydon. Slough is constantly gridlocked, unsurprisingly really when every household seems to have at least two cars.

There are so many different places to eat from all over the world in the High Street. Play to those strengths. Build a food hall, with dirt cheap pitches for those that want to get their businesses off the ground. And of course a new pub or two.

Not a lot of people know that Slough is blessed with over 254 acres of parkland. Make these people and wildlife corridors that are loved and cherished where people want to use all the time.

But back to those elephants. It was way back in 1900. A penalty shoot out with our vice captain at the time George Werrell. A goalkeeper who made 257 appearance from 1897 to 1914. He managed to score one penalty but the Elephant saved the other two! Unfortunately for the elephant, Werrell saved all three of the animals kicks and won a goblet that he displayed in his hairdressers shop in the High Street. Let’s see if our community manager Ade can top that.

* You've got till 31st March to put your ideas forward about Sloughs Town of Culture bid.

SURREAL FOOTBALL

Printed in the National League South game v Hampton and Richmond Borough Tuesday 10th March 2026  We lost 3-1 in front of 511

Photos by Scott McNeish

Some games are dull, some are nail biting, some you forget as soon as the final whistle goes but some games are...well, just a bit surreal.

Away to AFC Totton on a Tuesday night. I’d been there before, but that was their last season in their old ground when we had been put in the Southern League South and West after relegation. Totton finished third and we finished way behind Windsor, Beaconsfield, Uxbridge, Burnham and Village with-one-bus-stop United, coming in at number 16. The following season we got shoved in the Midlands section. It was heady days for Slough supporters if you liked visiting new places, but not so good if you liked seeing us win football matches.

So The Snows Stadium was a new ground for me. They had been here since 2010 and had powered up the leagues, this being their first one in the National League South. Be rude not too. The coast train Brighton to Southampton then a short hop to the small town of Totton, with a population just under 29,000 and a train station ticket office that is staffed 5am till 10am. If that doesn’t shout commuter town then nothing will. Surprisingly, there are two teams in Totton - their grounds only one wayward shot apart but they are friendly neighbours working very closely together. AFC are also friendly with Southampton whose women's team play there.

But hang on. I was expecting Mrs. Miggins tea shops and New Forest ponies but was instead was served up a scrubbed up version of Slough. I know it was 17 years ago since my last visit, so my mind might have been playing tricks but I’m sure their old place felt more rural?

Instead of a country boozer we ended up parking at a nearby industrial estate and headed to one of those places that is neither restaurant or pub, but did do veggie sausage, mash and gravy. Me and Gaz the Sandwich had dinner with The Turnstile boys with their respective wife's Clubshop Sue and Lynn. We even got a blue tick discount. Or maybe it was Blue Badge. It was definitely something blue.

The turnstiles weren’t open so you had to enter through the plush clubshop - like an airport lounge where you a tempted with all that duty free and perfume before you board the plane. I stupidly hadn’t bought a cheaper ticket online beforehand so was stuck behind someone who wanted a key ring and some Totton spring water and seemed to be paying in half pence pieces. Hurry up mate, im going to miss happy hour. The friendly bar staff made sure we didn’t miss out on the beer bargains as we trundled out to….well look I don’t want to be rude but the ground seemed like it had taken its architectural inspiration from the Southampton shipping containers.

A Tuesday night that felt like spring after the endless rain that had wiped out so much lower league football, with some teams needing to play three times a night to catch up. And just as well it wasn’t raining as there was no cover unless you wanted a seat. But what’s that? A doughnut and candy floss stall, that’s a tick. All we needed now was a ride on the Waltzer. Mind you, one of our youngsters munched through a dry packet of chocolate Craze throughout the game instead. Surreal or Cereal? We were spaced out on terracing in the first half that made Arbour Park seem spacious. The pitch was heavy, no surprise with all that rain but according to a certain kit man smelt of manure. We did come through a kissing gate to get here, so maybe there was some nearby farms. We bought out some old classics like ‘xylophone on your head’ but this was a tambourine, because well the xylophone has seriously seen better days, just like some of the Slough supporters.

The crowd was announced as 1,236, but I’m not sure where they were, maybe hiding in a shipping container? Everyone huffed and puffed and we finally got an equaliser and held on for another important point. Just like Dover didn’t deserve a point at Arbour Park, I’m not sure we really did, buy hey that’s football. Although when it comes to the games against Dover this season, I’m not sure football is an apt description. The first game was played on a pitch that would be better suited to mud wrestling, the home game was also like a battle ground with Slough players the casualties.

Getting back from Bath to Brighton on a Tuesday night involves sleeping in a ditch for the evening so I missed it along with our first class keeper who had got a better offer of full time football and was off. I don’t blame him, but blimey I was worried as I tuned into Rebels Radio. The commentators Gary Unruly Beard and Finnan (part of the McNeish media mafia) reported that not much was going on as the chat descended into famous names who’ve lived in Slough and owners who cut off their managers heads if they lose two games on the trot. Oh and guess the crowd, which is kind of hard when you’re listening on the radio. And then we nicked 3 points thanks to a goal from you-know-who. At least no ones poached him from us yet. As now seems football supporters tradition the Bath supporters booed their team off while our 50 ecstatic fans jumped for joy as we edged ever closer to safety in the National League South for another season. That’s definitely worth celebrating with a doughnut and a pint.

PANTOMIME SEASON

 

Printed in the National League South game v Dover Athletic Saturday 28th February 2026  We drew 1-1 in front of 690

                             photo by Scott McNeish

I know its stating the bleedin obvious, but football is more fun when you win and when it comes to the form table we are up there with the best. Since that Boxing Day away victory (not sure if anyone's mentioned it, but we beat Maidenhead United 3-1 at their place) we’ve romped up the league – with a few hiccups on the way.

But what if you expect to win? What if you don’t think that you should even be playing in this league?

Football crowds used to be more punch you angry now its pantomime angry. Booing when your league team is losing now seems the norm. I mean, really? Having plenty of money doesn’t seem to make people any happier, and often turns supporters into spoilt, entitled brats. It’s infected lower down the pyramid and I could hear Chelmsford supporters booing and chanting against their own team the other day at half time against Slough. Chelmsford are now segregating every home game, as they march towards 'football league standards' Oh give it a rest. I suppose away fans view will now be as bad as some away supporters get in the Premier League if that’s what you mean by football league standards. Meanwhile Torquay have got there knickers in a twist over a supporters coach and Ebbsfleet fans last weekend had a go at their manager and their players.

Thing is, there's quite a few clubs in our division that feel they shouldn’t be here and Maidstone is definitely one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I like Maidstone and have got a lot of time for their supporters who’ve gone through some bleak times. After going bust after a short stint in the Football League, they had to start again quite literally in a park, playing in the Kent League Division 4. They clawed there way back up and now have a lovely new ground in town after 24 homeless years. There’s Maidstone colours everywhere but their fans have got the hump. They expect more than just sitting outside the National League South play offs and that amazing FA Cup run seems like a distant memory. There’s talk of investment and all that jazz – but there’s still only two promotion spots up for grabs each season.

Pre match we went into one Maidstone cafe which felt more like an art gallery selling sour dough while the Wetherspoons was some glass monstrosity under a 70’s office block with rows of tables for people who probably didn’t really need that extra sausage. That’s not a boozer. We found an old fashioned caff then an old fashioned pub before we made it to the ground with plenty of time. That delayed kick off made it even more of a memorable occasion, although with so few Slough players at the ground, people were nervously looking at their feet hoping they wouldn’t be called to the bench. As the few of us that had got the train huddled at the back of their mammoth stand we were politely asked if that's all we take away. No, not really, most of us are stuck on the M25 with their legs crossed after a four and a half hour trip. I do think Maidstone should have let everyone in for free after that journey, but we will take the three points instead. While we celebrated post match in a pub I realised that only Tony could have mini heart attack and Mitch in his former life must have been a Buddhist monk with his calmness when all around him lose their heads (well unless we break out the Rebel, Rebel, Boing, Boing song).

Of course the run had to end and it did with a bump at Worthing, who simply blew us away in a first half mauling where we were lucky to concede just 4. It’s so impressive what has happened to Worthing as we made some noise in their fancy new stand, reminding them who are the Real Rebel Army. The club are celebrating 140 years of existence and 125 years at Woodside Road. We’ve been playing them on and off since 1949 and their place often had the feel of a working mens club smelling of stale beer hanging on for dear life. But what a transformation, helped by them ditching those rapid response stewards who caused the problems they were there to prevent. I selfishly hope they don’t go up tho, as its only 22 minutes on the train for me.

To end a season like this is of course more fun. Certainty more fun than those at the bottom like Eastbourne Borough who seem to be on a death spiral after their word soup chairman sacked their second manager of the season and promised part time football if they get relegated – which is looking more certain by the day and not the football league he promised. Weymouth, now possibly Eastbourne as lost away days – that’s not right, and I will be writing to my MP.

Still, plenty more twists and turns, and let’s hope for more days like Maidstone rather than Worthing. But if you’re 4-0 down away you might as well have a laugh and a sing-song, and after the compliments Worthing supporters heaped on us, maybe its mean spirited to say we would have probably had more fun at Bognor Butlins. You stick to eating Mackerels, while us rotund rebels enjoy our MarsBars and plan our next trip away.

SCHOOLIGANS

 

Printed in the double programme for National League South games v Weston-super-mare Tuesday 10th February we won 1-0 in front of 562 and Horsham on Saturday 14th February 2026 we drew 0-0 in front of 803 

If ever I was in need of a dose of Slough sanity it was the other Saturday... but I’d arranged a 60th + party at our pub to hopefully bring in a few extra quid to support our community activities. So yep I missed it. Slough Town 5 Full Time we-will-be-in-the-football-league-soon Chelmsford City 0. They might have to wait a little longer for that dream to come true.

I was in zoom work calls and clearing up rotten vegetables, but at least I was able to listen on Rebels Radio. As the goals flew in, its funny how those who like to moan when things aren't going so well, keep very quiet on days like these; almost as if they get a kick out of being grumpy moan-pants. They must be fun to be with. Still, thanks to everyone who messaged that I'd missed the best home performance of the season. You really are a caring bunch.

The only one sour note I heard was the trouble at the game with Spreadsheet Stu messaging before kick off about moody Chelmsford youngsters. What is it about wearing Burberry that can transform you into a Bellend? Stone Island into a sausage? It’s like the old days of football hooliganism all over again but this time for spotty teenagers, who like to play gangsters but as Taplow Rebel so eloquently put it couldn’t ‘knock the skin off a rice pudding.’ Football violence isn’t anything new, but with every second of our lives now filmed, any altercation is there for the world to see. Tik Tok for Toerags. Instagram for Idiots.

I’m not going to go all rose tinted about the good old days. My uncle stopped taking me to Fulham cos he didn’t think it was safe and Slough had its gangs who just loved a punch up. They even got the local paper to do front page headlines at one point, saying they just like to fight. And come on let’s be honest, some of our older supporters have a colourful past – but they are respectable now. Well maybe respectable isn’t quite the right description, let’s just say they have matured like an old boot.

Lower league football is thriving with a welcome boost in attendances and more cash for clubs lower down the pecking order. With the decimation of youth clubs, libraries closed, community centres boarded up, our level of football is one of the only cheap activities for young people to get together. And that’s a good thing. So what to do? Obviously the easiest option is ban the troublemakers from the games. But it’s all increased costs, more security, police, segregation...and slowly chipping away at the reasons we love non league...chatting to away supporters, changing ends at half time, not taking it too seriously cos well at the end of the day it’s just a game of football.

I don’t like the idea of collective punishment and the nuclear option from some clubs, banning all under 16 year olds unless accompanied with an adult. But something needs to change as there isn’t a matchday now without numerous reports of trouble at various grounds. Thankfully we’ve been mainly spared at Slough, a combination of lower crowds and our older supporters able to control the younger ones most of the time.

So how about a membership scheme (or season ticket) so we have regular supporters details and they aren’t penalised for something they haven’t done?

But if you want a punch up, find some farmers field somewhere and cover each others faces with cowpats; just don’t come dragging your gangsta fruitshoot attitude along to Slough Town thank you very much. Or dance around calling each others names for the cameras. You might just get a thick ear from a drumstick. A rolling pin from Sue. A blast of the trumpet from Nick. Or worse. A season ticket to Maidenhead United.

I don’t want people like my uncle deciding Arbour Park is not the place for their family. I want us known for our Slough-centric songs, wheelie bins, stupid instruments and having a laugh with everyone – cos coming to football should be fun, right?

A COMING OF AGE

Printed in the National League South game v Chelmsford City Saturday 31st January 2026 We won 5-0 in front of 735

I love that pre match feeling. The buzz and anticipation. Going through the turnstiles, meeting up with people as we share stories, beers and tall tales from previous games - and the hope for 3 points come the end of the game.

Infact the socialising is an important part of going to watch football. We all want to belong. It might be as part of your local allotment society, residents group, pub darts team or going to church. I’m not really a religious person, but if it gives people a sense of peace and they don’t think their God is better than others, than that’s all good.

My youngest Albie became interested in his Jewish identity (i’d already introduced him to his Slough identity on the terraces) and decided he wanted to have his own Bar Mitzvah – the coming of age for a boy or girl into adulthood. This was no easy decision for someone who hadn’t been a regular at synagogue as it meant he had a year to learn Hebrew from scratch. No mean feat but when children are determined to learn they can do so with flying colours.

Of course, in any organisation it helps when you have someone charismatic in charge. The Rabbi Gabriel Kanter-Webber from the Brighton and Hove Progressive Synagogue certaintly has that in bucketfuls.

With the Bar Mitzvah just before Christmas, the Rabbi talked about how Hanukkah is officially the most popular Jewish festival in the UK with at least 89% of British Jews participating in at least one candle-lighting last year.  "Now, as a matter of strict halachah (Jewish religious laws) Hanukkah is a very minor festival. But it's not exactly difficult to work out the source of all the hype. It's what the artist Mae Rockland Tupa calls 'the pernicious effects of Christmas celebration on the..Jewish mentality...making Hanukkah into a Jewish Christmas' except I'm going to dispute her use of the word 'pernicious.' Frankly, the statistics speak for themselves. If Christmas is the thing that inspires 89% of Jews to celebrate Hanukkah, I'm very much in favour of Christmas. Maybe Christinaity pipularised the idea of family gatherings in these dark days of winter. Maybe Christianity popularised the idea of twinkly lights when the evenings come in so early. Maybe Christianity makes children excited to get presents. But the 89% of our community who marked Hanukkah 2024, marked it Jewishly."

"When it comes to the December dilemma of our multicultural society, the proof of the pudding is in the Christmas pudding. The more that British Jews have been exposed to Christmas, the more we've done Hanukkah!

“Albie, you’re also part of the proof of the pudding. You grew up in this city, this city where you had both Jewish and secular influences on your life. No one forced you to come to cheder (Jewish school). You weren’t dragged here every Saturday morning since the age of 7. You took your own decision, just over a year ago, that you wanted to cement your Jewish identity and become bar mitzvah. Since then, you’ve worked extraordinarily hard on your Hebrew as well as on your general Jewish knowledge. You’ve dragged your mum here every Saturday morning, and it’s been lovely to welcome the two of you, along, often, with your grandparents from up the road, into our congregation.

“Importantly, just like Joseph in the Torah portion you read so fantastically for us this morning, you followed a dream. You set your sights on a goal and you followed through. You confirmed and affirmed your decision to become a Jewish adult. And what a perfect time of year at which to do so.”

Everyone left with a warm glow at the end of the service – and full bellies from the buffet – and surely that’s what it’s all about? What I liked about his speech was how he captured the mixed up world of tradition and ideals we all come across during our lifes. Nothing is black and white.

We all have our own interests and we often gravitate towards those who are similar. But we also need places where our different views, our different upbringings, our different experiences can come together. I mean just look at our football club that becomes more of a melting pot each week. It might not always leave us with a warm glow after a defeat but we will come back again and again and hopefully feel part of something special. And in a world where power mad, crazy old men want to burn the place down, that’s more important than ever.

* The Rabbis full sermon is here 

HAPPY NEW YEAR - ON AND OFF THE PITCH

Printed in the National League South game v Tonbridge Angels Saturday 24th January 2026  We lost 3-2 in front of 784

So much has happened since our last home game I don’t know where to start. Actually, that’s a lie. It has to be Maidenhead United away. First time we’ve played them in the league for 25 years. Packed ground, brilliant atmosphere and 3-1 to the Rebels. Best Birthday Present Ever. Forget the roast turkey – as Alan ‘the shirt’ Brown said – how about roast magpie for Boxing Day afters?

I get people love old traditional grounds. I do too. And in town centres where they belong. With old pylons peeping out surrounded by chimney pots. But York Road needs some serious investment and instead Maidenhead are keen to sell the ground where football has been continuously played since 1871  - the longest in the world - and move not too far up the road. Of course, if we lived in a society that wasn't all about money, the site would be valued, even turned into a football museum. Unfortunately especially in towns like Maidenhead and Slough it will become faceless housing and office blocks that no one loves and sucks the joy from our souls.

We then went on a 3 match unbeaten run until it came to a frozen halt at Chippenham. January is Rail Replacement Month so i left at stupid o clock to meet up with Gaz the Sandwich. Maybe the frozen farmers fields out west should have given me a clue but Chippenham seemed confident - until it was called off. Seven hours and £50 down the pan. Fiddlesticks. Gaz met with some Southend fans who love stealing our best players, but their game against Bath was another late postponement because a bit of the ground that wasn't even on the pitch was frozen. Which is a new one on me. Alfie and the Devon Rebels headed to Odd Down FC with their 'Don't be nasty, eat a pasty' banner, while my train trundled home, watching Macclesfield seriously have their day in the sun. It could have, should have been us. Meh.

I couldn't make the quickly rearranged Chippenham Town defeat but headed to the crazy mixed up town of Hemel Hempstead, where Mr. Blobby greeted us at the turnstiles. After being dished up cat-sick breakfast at Euston, we got served something much more palatable; infact this was five star cuisine. One of the best first half performances i've seen from a Slough Town team in years with fantastic, noisy support to boot. We might not be big hitters when it comes to home attendances but so many that come to home games are happy to travel away.

In amongst all the climbing up the table business, we also had the welcome news that Scotty had signed a new two year contract while Ash spelt out the vision of the club.

"This vision is guided by four core pillars which define what Slough Town FC stands for.

"Sustainability, Talent, Fan Experience, Community.

"In a league that becomes more competitive every season - with more full time teams and bigger budgets - we remain steadfast in our commitment to operating responsibly and sustainably. We are one of the few clubs at this level who can genuinely say that. And that matters.

"Everything we do is focused on long-term stability: from recruitment and player development to careful financial management and facility improvements. Our development model continues to prove its value - not only strengthening the squad but generating funds that protect our future.

"Enhancements to Arbour Park have continued, ensuring the stadium remains a modern, welcoming home we can be proud of.

"In one of the biggest steps forward last year, we reached agreement with the council on a new Sports Hub to support and elevate our training provision. This will improve performance, welfare and development across the club."

Which leads nicely onto the glossy Slough Is Now document where the football club is one of the key players in regenerating and reimagining the town. Dragging a place that needs a lot of love - and a good broom. Building on the innovation and invention that defined the place and which we sing about on the terraces. Did you know we've got the biggest trading estate in Europe !? Looking at what we've got in the town such as young, very diverse workforce and amazing transport links. Sure, there's plenty of issues. Trying to sort out the housing mess, the carbuncle of a town centre, massive inequality, but at least there is a vision and plans for wanting to be better.

These are exciting times for Slough the Town and Slough Town FC which thanks to so many brilliant people is in rude health. So let's keep on punching above our weight, and add more points on the board, while those behind the scenes continue to work hard to make us a major force in the town. 

Photos by Scott McNeish

REBELS ON TOUR : DOVER TO DAGENHAM

 

Printed in the National League South game v Chesham United Tuesday 28th December 2025 (Won 3-0 in front of 714) and Eastbourne 3rd January 2026 (Won 2-1 in front of 933)

Dover was one of those days when the highlight was having a few drinks with everyone. Which is fair enough if that didn't involve a 6 hour round trip to sip beer. Me and Gaz the Sandwich did some sightseeing. Well I took a picture of him of front of a distant Dover Castle then we hunted for pubs. One decided to serve beer that was undrinkable, the other had a landlord who said when Dover played Bristol Rovers, the Rovers supporters got in touch and said if he served a certain cider they would turn up en masse. He served 2,000 pints before 2pm!

The coast train is cheap, the club put me on the guest list and er, well that's about it. Dover have the best ground in the league but the worst pitch. Which you would think is an important consideration for a football club. Bit like a pub serving dodgy beer. They do decent chips and the place has the best acoustics ever; hitting parts of the stand with drumsticks was like playing a giant xylophone. Tubular Bells, Dover version. I’m sure everyone appreciated it. And then we lost to them - again. Around 40 Slough bothered to make the trip and half of them were hanging from the night before. I guess you can say we were all distracted by the big FA Cup game. But let’s not talk about that.

Dagenham used to be one of those places you visited every year. Not on holiday but for 90 minutes of football following Slough in the Isthmian League. In those days, there was no promotion, no play-offs and very little chance of getting in the football league. It was 2 points for a win, and if you were midtable at Christmas not much to play for. I remember standing on Victoria Roads grass banks behind the goal when I was young and once selling a vegetarian lasagna to a local restaurant so I could afford the coach and entry fee (it definitely wasn't the £22 I had to part with this time). Somewhere along the line they merged with Redbridge Forest who had already devoured Leytonstone, Ilford and Walthamstow Avenue - as London clubs performed in front of pitiful crowds in grounds that had seen much better times. You can go all rose tinted about the good old football days as much as you like, but lower league football is in much ruder health these days. And ironically Ilford, Walthamstow and Redbridge all now have they own clubs back in senior football, although sadly the word Avenue has been lost along with their old grounds.

At some point there was a serious parting of the ways for the Rebels and the Daggers. They joined the English Football League while we played the village people. And now here we are, Division 6 South so to speak after their fall from grace, some colourful owners, and well more of the same but staying full time and even adding Andy Carroll and his hair to their books.

Coming out at Dagenham East tube is bleak. A dual carriageway runs past, with flags fluttering half way up lampposts and the only hostelry a newish one that does pub grub and claims its the heart of Dagenham. After meeting a few Rebels including Deano Bladder Beckett we headed to Dagenham's clubhouse which had very decent prices but the feel of an old working mens where just one more meat raffle would bring the good times back. But as you approach through the back street houses, their big old pylons lighting up the sky, it feels like going to a proper old school football ground. The grass banks are now a massive seated stand where the Dagenham ultras gathered at the back, while we were segregated into a decent seated stand at the side with toilets that had a preservation order that Deano enjoyed but no bar. We sang ‘Biggest Trading Estate in Europe, Your never sing that’ at them and they replied with ‘English Football League, Your Never Sing’ which deserved a round of applause from the Rebels. Still, it was worth adding ‘You used to play Sheffield Wednesday but now your back playing Slough.’ I came away disapointed with just a point after a brilliant, battling performance, even their manager was very complimentary of our team. As an exciting end to end 0-0 as your likely to see. It made the long shlep back across London much more enjoyable.

So onto the Christmas period where for my 60th birthday the football gods have arranged Maidenhead United v Slough Town for the first time in the league since 2001. You’re all welcome to join me after in the Wheatsheaf after the game for a few birthday drinks and to plan next years adventures.* Let’s hope its a boring mid table one.

* Opps, this isn't being published till after the event. 

NO SLOUGH TOWN FAIRYTALE

Printed in the National League South game v Dorking Wanderers 20th December 2025  We lost 2-1 in front of 815

photo by Scott McNeish

There’s only one story to tell and it didn’t end in the fairytale we had all prayed for. To rub salt into the wound, our victors got the FA Cup holders at home. Fiddlesticks.

To be honest it was a bloody miracle we got to the second round in the first place. Losing and being a man down for over an hour when our keeper was sent off against Bedfont Sports. Wellings last minute equaliser, down to the bare bones against Enfield before a late, late goal. A Slough performance to savour against Altrincham.

We packed out the park – a record 2,500 and the media started running positive stories about Slough the Town. I haven’t been that nervous since, well the last time we were in the second round but it wasn’t to be. In the cold light of day Macclesfield deserved it, scored a wonder goal after a dubious penalty (for both teams) but ours unfortunately resulted in a sending off. I left straight after the game, totally dejected. Not even the sight of a sparkly new Station Jim could cheer me up.

But on reflection the cup run done the club proud. No doubt we will pick up a few more supporters from it and the club as a whole will benefit from new exposure. The hardcore Rebels behind the goal were joined by a man whose gaining legendary status at the club, with other players joining him. Our injured captain Henry Ochieng grabbed the bin sticks and even climbed on them a few times much to the frantic, worried looks from supporters who didn’t want him falling and compounding his injury. You can see why Scotty picked him as our captain.

We shouted down the obligatory idiots who turn up at big games who were throwing stuff on the pitch and giving grief to the Macclesfield player who was obviously badly injured. I lost my temper at shouts of how bad Macclesfield support was. They sold out their allocation of 600 on a televised match on a Sunday morning. I’d say that’s pretty decent.

The amount of organising and volunteering that goes into days like these is truly monumental. I asked our community manager Ade about the build up to the game. “We had around 5 coming in during the week, doing some small maintenance jobs and putting signage in stands for new sponsors. We then had a working party on the Saturday, all events and matches were cancelled, which saw about 20 people come in. Jobs included setting up bars and tea bars, cleaning stands and setting up the segregation. On the actual day there were over 40 volunteers all were onsite by 10am and most didn’t leave until after 4pm.

“Whilst I know the club can’t run without our fantastic volunteers, we should also give a shout out to board and matchday committee. Everything from tickets, sponsorship, safety plans, stewarding, policing, external relations such as scaffolders, the FA and TNT Sports and food deliveries, all required a huge amount of work. Every person worked so hard in the 4 weeks from the draw happening.

“On the day there was no real dramas off the pitch and the feedback from everyone, including Slough and Macclesfield fans was that the day was really well run. Everyone really did ‘Serve With Honour’ and showed just how fabulous this football club is.” Amen to all that.

It was also good to see former chairman Steve Easterbrook who I thanked and reminded him that we are where we are today because of all the work he did getting us back to Slough and building a financially sustainable football club. Financially sustainable – words you don’t often hear in football.

Now the priority is staying in this league. It’s frightening how much money is being thrown around, having nearly half of our opponents full time is economic madness but it is what it is. Every game we must now treat like an FA Cup. Of course after the defeat a few started having a pop at Scott Davies on line. I thought his reply as ever was class. “Genuine question… what would we have to do as a management team for you to say that we’ve kicked on? 10th and 16th placed finishes. Went a year unbeaten at home. Scored the second most goals over the last two seasons combined. 1st and 2nd round of FA Cup. Sold 5 players in less than 12 months. 11 players gone full time. Our best players taken year on year. Been in the relegation zone for 3 weeks over a 2 year period as a part time club when 40% of the league are full time. Fair enough I’ll make mistakes along with my management team but we aren’t magicians.”

Maybe in the New Year we should all take a breath, stop shaking our fists at clouds, stop thinking we can do better while we scroll through our phones lying on the couch. And remember, as that proverb goes; before you complain, have you volunteered yet? Cos fairytales are usually built on the backs of peoples hard graft.

 

Photo by Sarah Peplow

THE DOERS AND DREAMERS

Printed in the FA Cup 2nd round game v Macclesfield Sunday 7th December 2025  We lost 3-1 in front of 2,500 - our biggest ever crowd at Arbour Park

Photo by Scott McNeish

In any rational world neither Macclesfield or Slough Town football clubs would exist. Basket-cases that any sane person would have put out of their misery. Thankfully football and life, isn't completely dictated by money and logic and there’s always the doers and dreamers who refuse to give up. Who refuse to take no for an answer and listen to their hearts rather than their heads.

The fall and rise of Macclesfield has been well documented, less so that of Slough Town. But the Rebels were homeless for 15 long years as they plummeted down the leagues, fighting the council to find us a new ground while trying to keep a competitive team on the pitch. But a hardcore group never stopped believing or supporting them; driven by people like Chris Sliski, who is sadly no longer with us and former chairman Steve Easterbrook who grabbed the club by the scruff of its scrawny neck and finally got us back in the town we represent.

We recently lost another one of those doers and dreamers - Phil Ashford. I had only really started getting to know him. He’d moved to Reading a while back and was supporting the Royals, but was slowly being pulled back to the Rebels including our last FA Cup game. Our politics aligned but rather than just shouting from the sidelines, he lived those politics supporting people who’d fallen on hard times for whatever reason. You can tell the measure of a man by the outpourings after their passing. One of our supporters Sarah posted “The world is a darker place since the light that is Phil Ashford went out. Don’t have enough words to describe how much difference he made to so many people, both through his work and his kind, generous and giving nature in his personal life. Rest in peace Phil You have touched so many hearts and lives.”

Another, Nada wrote “Wonderful human being who had an infinite amount of kindness and belief that every person had the right to live with dignity and justice, and access to good times, too!”

Phil was good fun to be around. He introduced me to the Facebook sensation that is Non League Bins, its cover page now our very own Welly waving one of our bashed bins in the air in celebration. Phil played his last gig at Arbour Park which was outside and bizarrely while a match was going on. He said he couldn’t stop shouting ‘offside’ on the mic. They were even thinking of changing the bands name simply to Slough’. He’s going to be missed by so many.

I recently arrived at Arbour Park with BBC Breakfast in tow; parents with their children were turning up in droves, there was a busy gym and 150 business leaders attending for a conference. The journalists have promised a positive article about the town and the club – knocking Slough is like shooting fish in a barrel. And they delivered. They had started their filming at Slough Museum and the truth is Slough the Town has always been a place full of doers and dreamers - like an industrial Silicon valley with all its inventions. As the song goes – Zebra crossings, Thunderbirds, Mars Bars and Bins, Biggest Trading Estate, David Brent – these are all Slough things. Then there’s – Roundabouts, Cox's Orange Pippins, Infrared, snooker, first ever community centre and so much more that I just can’t get to rhyme.

Once our new owners took over the Arbour Park lease from the council, the club has been turbo charged. Not just new infrastruture but new iniatiatives as well as hundreds of people playing on the pitch – from youngsters, ladies team, walking football, men v fat, disability..there's hardly a spare second on the artifical turf. The club have become the glue that binds communities together – even more important in a town like Slough.

But there’s always so much more to do and why so much is riding on this game, that I feel physically sick. I don’t have bucket lists but if I did, right up there would be Slough Town in the Third Round of the FA Cup after eight glorious second round failures.

I don’t want to over egg this game, but the riches from being in their Third Round, the spotlight it would bring to the club, wont just define this season, but potentially the next decade. It would be like winning the lottery and then some, but sharing that win with thousands of others.

So I dedicate this match to the doers and dreamers. We need more of them in this world. But first things first - today we need to win. So let’s make some noise Rebel Army and put our town on the map for all the right reasons. Let’s be part of making history for our club.

A TASTE OF SLOUGH

 

Printed in the National League South game v AFC Totton Tuesday 25th November 2025  We won 3-2 in front of 412 

I decided to pop up a little bit earlier before last Tuesdays game against Farnborough. I said hello to a spruced up Station Jim offering him a ghost dog biscuit, then headed to the far end of the High Street for some food. Apart from the biggest Gregg's I’ve ever seen there is a wealth of culinary delights with restaurants dishing up food from Somalia, Afghanistan, Iraq, Africa, India and more. In the end I went boring and had a halloumi wrap. I was presented with a small bowl of free lentil soup then a big wrap for a fiver. I grow food but I’m no foodie. I’m vegetarian, but so often the food I can have is limited and uninspiring. No sorry, I don’t want the cous-cous aubergine surprise. But this hit the spot at very decent prices.

Running short of time I popped into one of the last pubs standing - the Alpha Arms. Now my dad lived a good number of years in Alpha Street and let’s just say he helped that tiny back street pub stay financially viable. So was it a co-incidence it closed when he moved out? Amazingly it did reopen and tripled in size with some love given to the big garden – a decent green space just off the high street. It’s a lovely old building in one of Slough first streets (the clues in the name Alpha) but the houses at the top are shabby, the new builds where the Floral Arms once stood, look like the same faceless rabbit hutches that blight England. They closed the bottom half of the high street to traffic which was a good thing, but unfortunately routed it through residential streets including Alpha Street, which was a bad thing. Now I like a good bin, but im not sure the collection outside the Alpha enhances its architectural charm and doesn’t scream ‘come on in’ hospitality to me. With the Herschel Arms gone, its more of an Irish pub than ever but the Guinness wasn’t poured with the love it deserves, and the music occasionally blasting the small number of drinkers stopping their conversation flowing. I supped up and headed in a cab to the ground.

Whenever I've arrived earlier at Arbour Park its been a hive of activity. This time was no different, with youngsters playing on the pitches. On Tuesdays alone there’s Under 8’s, Under 9’s, two Under 10’s Boys only 6-8 years old, Wildcats which is girls 5-11 and teen disability 12-18 years old.

So when our seniors men's teams form dips, I remind myself that all this community activity, shows how the club is run the right way and is in good hands. And while the first team fanbase doesn’t represent the towns ethnicity and crowds have fallen this season, this was a different matter. It was like the United Nations with all different cultures meeting and greeting each other.

I’m not into segregation; it defeats one of the main reasons for supporting lower league football, mingling and chatting with away supporters. But with apparently Worthing requesting it and after the unsavoury incidents at Gloucester – which could have so easily been nipped in the bud if it was better managed – it was in place again Saturday. Chatting to some of the Worthing supporters after, their club are going to be dealing with some of the youngsters who’ve attached themselves to their club. We can deal with our Scrappy Doo’s and others need to do the same before the collective punishment of segregation because of a few idiots, becomes the norm in our league.

Slough finally got a deserved 3 points, but the crowd was sparse even for a Tuesday. Despite that, despite our league position, the building blocks for a successful football club are all there.

I can’t make tonight as i'm heading up to Slough the following day for a BBC Breakfast FA Cup special in the Wheatsheaf. This is the sort of publicity a cup run brings and something marketing whizz-kids can only dream of. They wanted me to go to the Office roundabout but I pointed out it that might be tricky as its now a dual carriageway. Infact the only thing standing from the sit-coms intro is the Slough Trading Estate sign, which as we all know is the biggest trading estate in Europe. (Quiet, Spreadsheet Stu). Things have moved so fast in the world of work, could you even make the Office now? It would just be an engineer wandering lonely round a vast Data Centre doing zoom calls to people in pyjamas, who only leave the house to go to the gym. Which is why its so important places like pubs and football are protected, places where you can turn off those screens, and meet other human beings and have a laugh. See you at Dover!